Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 34: Episode 22

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Air Date:


Musical Guest:

Special Guests:


Bit Players:

May 16th, 2009

Will Ferrell

Green Day


Tom Hanks

Norm MacDonald

Amy Poehler

Maya Rudolph

Anne Hathaway

Artie Lange

Elisabeth Moss

Paul Rudd


Cheney in Makeup
Summary: Now that he's out of office, former president George W. Bush (Will Ferrell) is no longer scared of Dick Cheney (Darrell Hammond), and he wants some answers -- now.

Recurring Characters: Dick Cheney, George W. Bush.



Will Ferrell's Monologue
Summary: Will Ferrell performs a dramatic piece.


Wade Blasingame: Attorney-At-Law
Summary: Rough-and-tumble Wade Blasingame (Will Ferrell) is in favor of suing dogs or making them pay otherwise for not following the laws of the human world.

Note: Repeat from 00g.

The Lawrence Welk Show
Summary: Ted Netters (Will Ferrell) enjoys singing and dancing with musical sisters (Casey Wilson, Michaela Watkins, Abby Elliott), but is grossed out by their tiny-handed sister Denise (Kristen Wiig).

Recurring Characters: Lawrence Welk.


Celebrity Jeopardy
Summary: Not only is Alex Trebek (Will Ferrell) chagrined by the stupidity of Kathie Lee Gifford (Kristen Wiig), Sean Connery (Darrell Hammond) and the real Tom Hanks, but old foe Burt Reynolds (Norm MacDonald) crashes the quiz show festivities as well.

Recurring Characters: Alex Trebek, Kathie Lee Gifford, Sean Connery, Burt Reynolds.


Inside the NBA
Recurring Characters: While covering the NBA, Charles Barkley's (Kenan Thompson) eye is more focused upon the lower screen advertisement for new TNT comedy "Mark" (Will Ferrell).

Recurring Characters: Charles Barkley.


Green Day performs "Know Your Enemy"
First Performed: 94g.


Weekend Update with Seth Meyers
Summary: Former co-anchor Amy Poehler appears to do another segment of "Really!?!" with Seth Meyers, this time on President Obama's honorary degree. The late Harry Caray (Will Ferrell) offers his comments on Manny Ramirez.

Recurring Characters: Harry Caray.


Funeral Remembrances
Summary: A priest (Jason Sudeikis) is flummoxed by the interruptions made by family members during a solemn funeral service.

Recurring Characters: Gail, Glenda Goodwin.


Green Day performs "21 Guns"

Goodnight, Saigon
Summary: While conversing over drinks with his friends, Fritz (Will Ferrell) has an unexplained Vietnam flashback and breaks into song, despite being too young to have ever served his country in that war.



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