Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 35: Episode 6






09f: January Jones / Black Eyed Peas

Cloud Gazing

Jason.....Jason Sudeikis
Kelly.....January Jones

[ open on couple lying down on the grass somewhere in San Francisco, with the Golden Gate Bridge in the background ]

Jason: I'm so glad we did this.

Kelly: I know. It's the perfect first date, with the perfect man.

Jason: [ he chuckles, as he gazes into the sky ] Look at all these clouds. It's too bad we already ate -- there might be a chance of meatballs!

Kelly: [ she laughs with him ] What?

Jason: Oh, uh, it's... just a reference to that movie, "Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs"?

Kelly: Ohhh. That's funny. Sorry, I haven't seen a movie in a while. The last one I saw in the theater was probably... "The Wiz"?

Jason: [ incredulous ] "The Wiz"? Wow, that's -- you saw that in the theaters?

Kelly: Yeah, I "Wiz" not that into seeing movies! [ she laughs out loud at this joke ]

Jason: [ laughing ] Yeah... yeah... [ pointing ] Hey, look at that cloud. It's like a sailboat, you know? You see, there's the mast, and the sail, and the hull of the ship right there.

Kelly: [ looking ] Hmm... It doesn't really look like a ship, it looks more like a... puffy, cloudy, cloud blob.

Jason: Yeah. Yeah, I mean that's... more accurate, I guess. I just thought it might be more fun to, you know, use your imagination. You know? "Use your illusion"! [ he laughs ]

Kelly: [ laughing ] What?

Jason: Ah, that's a Guns N' Roses reference. I thought you might have listened to Guns N' Roses growing up.

Kelly: Ohhhhh... that's funny. That's music, right? God, I can't remember the last song I heard. Oh! It was "Muskrat Love", by Captain & Tennille!

Jason: That's the last song you heard?

Kelly: Well, it's the last new song I heard. And, right now, I'm in "Muskrat Love" with these clouds! [ she laughs out loud at this joke ]

Jason: [ speechless ] Yeah. You're very pretty. [ he chuckles ] Hey, what about that cloud? What do you think that looks like?

Kelly: A cottonball.

Jason: Anything else?

Kelly: A cottonball made of clouds.

Jason: That's a little worse. you wanna try again?

Kelly: Two clouds!

Jason: Okay, we'll stop there. Yeah, I was gonna say it looks like a T-Rex, you know? You see, there's a head and a tail and two tiny arms?

Kelly: Yeah, but when they built dinosaurs, they didn't use clouds.

Jason: [ he glances at her like she's an idiot, then glances all around him ] Am I on "Punk'd", or something?

Kelly: [ she laughs uproariously ] Yeah! Wait... what?

Jason: Uh -- "Punk'd". It's a TV show. I don't know why I thought you would get that.

Kelly: No... well, yeah, I'm not really up on my television.

Jason: Hmm.

Kelly: God, what was the last TV show I saw? Oh, right -- it was the final episode of Trapper John, M.D."

Jason: Really? "Trapper John, M.D."?

Kelly: Yeah. Why? Is he your doctor?

Jason: No. No, he's not even, uh -- you know what? Why don't we, uh, we'll just be quiet for a while, just enjoy the scenery. Not even gonna worry about... talking.

Kelly: I guess I will keep my Trapper shut! [ she laughs out loud at this joke ]

Jason: [ laughing ] You are a very pretty, pretty woman!

[ they laugh together ]

Kelly: Thank you!

Jason: Oh, you're welcome.

Kelly: [ pointing ] Oh, hey! What about that cloud? It looks like a sun.

Jason: Well, that is the sun.

Kelly: And what about those clouds? What do those clouds look like?

Jason: Uh, those ones flying? Those are birds. Yeah.

Kelly: And that tree?

Jason: [ having had enough ] Kelly, I'm gonna go!

Kelly: Well, why, why, why? I like this cloud game. And I like you. [ she rubs her face across his arm ] I like you a lot!

Jason: Yeah, I'm gonna go through with this. Okay, uh --

Kelly: Yay! [ she claps ]

Jason: Yeah.

Kelly: [ pointing ] Oh, and look -- that cloud looks like a painting!

Jason: Oh,good! A painting of what?

Kelly: A cloud.

Jason: Right... right. Very good.

[ fade ]


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