Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 35: Episode 7


This free script provided by http://javascriptkit.com










Air Date:

Host:

Musical Guest:

Special Guests:

Cameos:



Bit Players:



November 21st, 2009

Joseph Gordon-Levitt

Dave Matthews Band

None

Al Gore

Mindy Kaling

None

China Press Conference
Summary: During press conference in China, President Barack Obama (Fred Armisen) manages to upset Chinese leader Hu Jintao (Will Forte) regarding money owed to his country.

Recurring Characters: President Barack Obama.

Transcript


Montage


Joseph Gordon Levitt's Monologue
Summary: Joseph Gordon-Levitt demonstrates his excitement by performing Donald O'Conner's "Make 'Em Laugh" routine from "Singin' in the Rain".

Transcript


Palin 2012
Summary: In a recut movie trailer, the election of President Sarah Palin and Vice-President Glenn Beck brings about the end of days.

Transcript


Secret Word
Summary: Emcee Lyle Round (Bill Hader) is frustrated when celebrity panelists Mindy Gracin (Kristen Wiig) and Ricardo Gonzales (Joseph Gordon Levitt) are unable to grasp the concept of the game without sacrificing their huge egos.


An SNL Digital Short
Summary: Andy Samberg raps about his insisted relationship with what he thinks is Reba McEntire (Kenan Thompson).

Transcript


Mellow Show
Summary: Jack Johnson (Andy Samberg) welcomes mellow guests Dave Matthews (Bill Hader) and Jason Mraz (Joseph Gordon-Levitt), and not-as-mellow-as-advertised Ozzy Osbourne (Dave Matthews).

Recurring Characters: Jack Johnson, Dave Matthews, Ozzy Osbourne, Boyd Tinsley.

Transcript


What Up With That?
Summary: Diondre Cole (Kenan Thompson) interrupts guests Al Gore, Mindy Kaling, and Lindsey Buckingham (Bill Hader) so he can continue singing his theme song.

Recurring Characters: Diondre Cole, Lindsey Buckingham.


Dave Matthews Band performs "You & Me"


Weekend Update with Seth Meyers
Summary: Fulfilling NBC's "Green Week" platform, Al Gore outlines a more passive-aggressive, downright crazy, approach to spreading the world about global warming.

Transcript


Sarcastic Thanksgiving Dinner
Summary: Nancy (Abby Elliott), her sons (Jason Sudeikis, Will Forte, Joseph Gordon-Levitt) and Judith (Kristen Wiig) make sarcastic remarks to one another over a tense Thanksgiving dinner

Recurring Characters: Nancy, Judith, Phil.

Transcript


Woman to Woman
Summary: Aggressive producer Roger Brush (Fred Armisen) fills in when the regular female host is too ill to do the show.

Transcript


Dave Matthews Band performs "Shake Me Like A Monkey"


Say Anything
Summary: While trying to woo back Diane Court while holding a boombox outside her bedroom window, Lloyd Dobler (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) withstands questions and interruptions from her neighbors (Jason Sudeikis, Kristen Wiig).

Transcript


Goodnights
Transcript






Dress Rehearsal Cuts

Glamour Girl
Summary: A crisis breaks out, but superhero Glamour Girl (January Jones) is slow to react because she takes too much time getting herself put together.


He Likes You Dance
b>Summary: A pair of attractive girls (Jenny Slate, Nasim Pedrad) gain the attention of two lovestruck men (Andy Samberg, Joseph Gordon-Levitt) in a bar who are doing a funny dance, and wonder what they might be thinking.


Kickspit Underground Rock Festival
Summary: DJ Super Soak (Jason Sudeikis) and Lil Blaster (Nasim Pedrad) promote an under-underground rock festival.

Recurring Characters: DJ Super Soak, Lil Blaster.

Note: This sketch would later be performed on the episode hosted by Blake Lively.


Gator World
Summary: The owner (Jason Sudeikis) of Gator World makes the audience sit through his kids singing about chickens.


Andy Rooney
Summary: Andy Rooney (Fred Armisen) opines about his favorite things.

Recurring Characters: Andy Rooney.


Clancy T. Bachleratt and Jackie Snad Sing Songs about Spaceships, Lullabies & Jars of Beer
Summary: Spokesman (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) touts the joint collaboration of patriotic country musicians Clancy T. Bachleratt (Will Forte) and Jackie Snad (Kristen Wiig).

Recurring Characters: Clancy T. Bachleratt, Jackie Snad.



SNL Transcripts