Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 35: Episode 8






09h: Blake Lively / Rihanna

An SNL Digital Short

.....Rihanna
Shy Ronnie.....Andy Samberg

[An SNL Digital Short Logo appears]

[opens to a class of 4th graders looking at the front of the class with a Hip Hop beat in the backgroud]

[Cuts to Rihanna at the front of the class]

[Rihanna sings]

Rihanna: Eh! Oh! Woah Oh!

[Camera cuts to Rihanna looking sexy and “Shy Ronnie”. Knowledge is writen on the blackboard in large letters.]

Rihanna: Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

[Camera cuts to Rihanna rotating on a pedistal. Rihanna’s name is written in cursive at the bottom of the screen]

Rihanna: Rihanna and Shy Ronnie

[Camera cuts to Shy Ronnie looking shy in front of the class with Nerdy glasses and clothes.]

[Camera cuts to Rihanna and Shy Ronnie dancing in the front stage while Rihanna starts to sing]

Rihanna: Wer’ like fire an ice. Taking over the whole world.

Background Vocals: Whole world.

[Camera cuts to Shy Ronnie drawing a circle with both hands to represent the world while looking at Rihanna.]

[Cuts back to Rihanna and Shy Ronnie in the front of the class room]

Rihanna: From the mountain tops, down to the boys and girls.

[Shy Ronnie points to the kids in the class room at there desk.]

[Camera cuts to the kids in the class room. One child at the back of the class is sitting on a stool with a Dunce cap on]

Rihanna: And the tree of knowledge it grows cause we plan the seed.

[Camera cuts to a Mexican child who nods in agreeance.]

Rihanna: We the teachers of this and we got just what you need. Shy Ronnie

[Rihanna points to Shy Ronnie for his queue to sing]

[Shy Ronnie mumbles in a very low tone]

Rihanna: Speak up.

[Shy Ronnie still mumbles at a very low tone]

Rihanna: [impatiently] Shy Ronnie. Speak Up!

[Shy Ronnie continues to mumble in a very low tone]

[Rihanna tries to stop Shy Ronnie from singing]

Rihanna: OK I’ll take it from here-

Shy Ronnie: AHA!

Rihanna: OK

Rihanna: We like fire and ice taking over the whole world.

[Shy Ronnie signals the children to wave there hands in the air.]

[Camera cuts to the kids in the class room waving there hands unwillingly in the air and in disgust of Shy Ronnie]

Rihanna: From the mountain tops, down to the boys and girls.

[Camera cuts back to Rihanna and Shy Ronnie. The children stopped waving their hands in the air and so did Shy Ronnie in embarrassment.]

Rihanna: Hit ‘em Shy Ronnie!

[Shy Ronnie is excited that it’s his turn to sing again hoping to redeem himself from last time]

[Shy Ronnie continues to mumble in a very low tone]

Rihanna: [in disbelief] No!

[Shy Ronnie creates a feedback into the mic].

Rihanna: Move the mic away from your face.

[Shy Ronnie continues to mumble in a very low tone.]

Rihanna: C'mon, this beat cost a lot of money.

[Shy Ronnie stops singing. Camera pans out to both Rihanna and Shy Ronnie]

Rihanna: Oh, no. Oh, no. He pissed himself. He pissed himself!

[Camera cuts to full view of Rihanna and Shy Ronnie. Shy Ronnie urinated in his pants.]

[Camera cuts to one of the school kids pointing and laughing at Shy Ronnie.]

Shy Ronnie: AHA!

Rihanna: Oh Boy!

[Camera cuts to one of the school kids pointing and laughing at Shy Ronnie.]

[Camera cuts back to Rihanna]

Rihanna: Shoulda just paid Kanye. Bye Shy Ronnie. Bye-Bye

[Rihanna leaves the class room. Hip Hop beat stops]

Shy Ronnie: AHA!

[Hip Hop beats starts again]

Shy Ronnie: Names Shy Ronnie and I running this ish!! You know i say stay strappin' cause life is a Bitch!

[Rihanna comes back into the room]

[Ronnie starts to mumble again in a low tone]

Rihanna: Hey! I forgot my purse.. Bye, bye again.

[Rihanna walks out of the class room with her purse]

[Hip Hop beat stops playing]

Shy Ronnie: And I don't need no beat, I keep a-rockin' a'cappella, and you should hang with me, because my name is Shy Ronnie.

[Fade]


Submitted by: Jubei "Guy" Kibagami


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