Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 35: Episode 11










09k: Charles Barkley / Alicia Keys

Barkley's Bank

Announcer.....Bill Hader
.....Charles Barkley
Elderly Husband.....Fred Armisen
Elderly Wife.....Jenny Slate

Announcer: Barclay's Bank. For over 150 years, Barclay's Bank has offered services tailored to specifically meet the services of its customers worldwide. With financial strategies that reflect the financial spectrum—

INT. EXECUTIVE OFFICE

[ Former Phoenix Suns MVP CHARLES BARKLEY, in a swank suit & tie, is reclined in a large, leather chair. ]

Charle sBarkley: BO-RING! Hi, I’m Charles Barkley. And if you’re looking for a new way to manage your money, perhaps you should try Barkley's Bank.

EXT. SHOT OF BARKLEY’S BANK AND ITS LOGO IN TURQUOISE GREEN WITH THE FACE OF CHARLES.

Charles Barkley: At Barkley’s Bank, it’s simple -- I promise you I'm going to do two things -- I'm either going to double it or lose it all. And that's a promise.

INT. STUDIO

An ELDERLY COUPLE are seated side-by-side, holding hands.

Elderly Husband: We we're planning on retirement and heard Barkley had doubled the money on some friends of ours.

Elderly Wife: We gave a large sum of money to Barkley's Bank and the only question he had was "What's your favorite color?"

Elderly Husband: We said blue, but then he clarified and said “What’s your favorite color between black or red."

Elderly Wife: We said black, and 10 minutes later he called to say that our life savings was gone.

Elderly Husband: Very nice guy. Very honest.

INT. EXECUTIVE OFFICE

Charles Barkley: Hey! You win some you lose some. That's our motto.

[ The camera pans out to show more of Barkley's Bank, but due to time constraints, the Barkley's Bank logo appears then fades to a commercial break. ]


Submitted by: Cody Downs


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