html> SNL Transcripts: Betty White: 05/08/10

 Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 35: Episode 210


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Air Date:

Host:

Musical Guest:

Special Guests:

Cameos:















Bit Players:



May 8th, 2010

Betty White

Jay-Z

None

Rachel Dratch

Tina Fey

Ana Gastayer

Amy Poehler

Maya Rudolph

Molly Shannon

Bridget Kelly

Mr. Hudson

None


Lawrence Welk Show
Summary: Lawrence Welk (Fred Armisen) pays tribute to mothers with help from baby-handed Dooneese (Kristen Wiig).

Recurring Characters: Lawrence Welk, Dooneese.


Montage


Betty White's Monologue
Summary: Betty White pokes fun of the Facebook campaign that landed her as host after 35 years, and jokes about what they did for fun in the old days.

Transcript


MacGruber
Summary: Embarrassing childhood stories by Nana (Betty White) inteferes with MacGruber's (Will Forte) attempt to diffuse a bomb.

Recurring Characters: MacGruber, Vicky.

Transcript


Delicious Dish
Summary: Margaret Jo McCullen (Ana Gasteyer) and Teri Rialto (Molly Shannon) chat muffins with Forence Dusty (Betty White).

Recurring Characters: Margaret Jo McCullen, Teri Rialto.

Transcript


The Manuel Ortiz Show
Summary: Manuel Ortiz (Fred Armisen) walks his endless line of guests through their problems with endless Spanish dancing.

Recurring Characters: Manuel Ortiz.

Transcript


MacGruber
Summary: Nana (Betty White) playing dead inteferes with MacGruber's (Will Forte) attempt to diffuse a bomb.

Recurring Characters: MacGruber, Vicky.

Transcript


Gingey
Summary: In 1904, everyone in her family suggests that Gingey (Amy Poehler) is a lesbian.


MacGruber
Summary: MacGruber (Will Forte) apologizes to Nana (Betty White) for his outbursts and stops trying to diffuse the bomb so he can propose marriage.

Recurring Characters: MacGruber, Vicky.

Transcript


Jay-Z performs "Real As It Gets", "99 Problems", and "Empire State of Mind" with Bridget Kelly


Weekend Update with Seth Meyers
Summary: Whitney Houston (Maya Rudolph) is still on crack. Sally O'Malley (Molly Shannon) is still 50 years old, and fellow senior citizen (Betty White) is 90 years old. Seth Meyers, Amy Poehler, and Tina Fey ask "Really!?!" in egards to increased tension in Times Square, gaffes on Wall Street, and Greece's national debt.

Recurring Characters: Whitney Houston, Sally O'Malley.


Scared Straight
Summary: Hardcore inmates Lorenzo McIntosh (Kenan Thompson) and his grandmother (Betty White) try to scare another trio of young punks (Bobby Moynihan, Andy Samberg, Bill Hader) straight.

Recurring Characters: Lorenzo McIntosh, Officer Sikorsky.

Transcript


CSI: Sarasota
Summary: Vivian Caruso (Betty White) and Sy Horowitz (Rachel Dratch) think there's a killer on the loose at a retirement village, in this latest CBS spin-off.

Transcript


An SNL Digital Short
Summary: The cast sings "Thank You For Being a Friend" for Betty White, but she'd rather perform it hard-rock style.

Transcript


Jay-Z performs "Young Forever" with Mr Hudson


2010 Census Taker
Summary: Census taker (Tina Fey) gets runaround answers from an old bird (Betty White) who may or may not be living alone in her apartment.

Transcript


Goodnights
Transcript






Dress Rehearsal Cuts

Celtic Women
Summary: The Celtic Women perform their music.


Bronx Beat with Betty & Jodi
Summary: Betty Caruso (Amy Poehler) and Jodi Deitz (Maya Rudolph) chatter.

Recurring Characters: Betty Caruso, Jodi Deitz.


Car Bomb Press Conference
Summary: Car bomber Faisal Shahzad (Fred Armisen) and his interpretor (Maya Rudolph) hold a press conference to address the charges against him.


Debbie Downer
Summary: Debbie Downer (Rachel Dratch) brings everyone down at a lingerie party.

Recurring Characters: Debbie Downer.

Transcript


Pretty Living
Summary: Joyologist Helen Madden (Molly Shannon) has a new best friend in Betty White.

Recurring Characters: Helen Madden.


Unicorn
Summary: Things go horribly wrong when a man (Jason Sudeikis) gives his girlfriend (Nasim Pedrad) a unicorn for her birthday.



SNL Transcripts


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