Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 35: Episode 21

This free script provided by

Air Date:


Musical Guest:

Special Guests:


Bit Players:

May 15th, 2010

Alec Baldwin

Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers


Steve Martin

Jorma Taccone

John Lutz

Jessi Klein

Paula Pell

Kent Sublette

Oil Spill Press Conference
Summary: Representatives from British Petroleum (Bill Hader), Transocean (Fred Armisen), and Halliburton (Jason Sudeikis) offer lamebrained solutions for cleaning up the Gulf of Mexico oil spill.



Alec Baldwin's Monologue
Summary: Alec Baldwin delivers a commencement address for SNL's 35th season.

Note: Alec Baldwin officially ties Steve Martin's 15-episode hosting record.


An SNL Digital Short
Summary: Coked-up guy (Andy Samberg) paranoically sings about having a "Great Day".


Arizona Evenings
Summary: A dramatic scene between actors (Alec Baldwin, Andy Samberg) is ruined by new script supervisor, Starfish (Kristen Wiig), and her big teeth.

Swim Team Awards
Summary: Infuriated swim coach (Alec Baldwin) hands awards to all the swim team members he hates.


Bedelia's Birthday Cookout
Summary: Bedelia (Nasim Pedrad) would rather hang around her cool Dad (Alec Baldwin) than socialize with her peers at her own birthday party.

Recurring Characters: Bedelia.


Summary: Sally Field (Abby Elliott) promotes the bone loss health solution for middle-aged women who are needlessly scared by their doctors.


Grady Wilson's Intimate & International
Summary: Grady Wilson (Kenan Thompson) demonstrates sex techniques for seniors with the aid of randy Greek Kostos (Alec Baldwin).

Recurring Characters: Grady Wilson.

Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers perform "I Should Have Known It"

Weekend Update with Seth Meyers
Summary: Orange-colored Snooki (Bobby Moynihan) promotes the second season of "Jersey Shore" and flirts with Seth Meyers. Stefon (Bill Hader) discusses more trendy vacation spots for families. Unprepared Garth (Fred Armisen) & Kat (Kristen Wiig) sing more songs as though they were making them up on the spot.

Recurring Characters: Snooki, Stefon, Garth, Kat.

Summary: Gram Lampton (Alec Baldwin) and Penny Schmeer (Kristen Wiig) show how you can save time, as long as you remember to send your lunch back from the future.


Whistle If You Can
Summary: Turner Classic Movies presents "Whistle If You Can", a 1950's film in which a businessman (Alec Baldwin) gets his kicks by pressuring a hooker (Jenny Slate) to open up about her past.


Summary: Sniper (Alec Baldwin) orders his combat trainees (Jason Sudeikis, Kenan Thompson) to "Taaay the shaaa!"


Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers perform "Jefferson Jericho Blues"


Dress Rehearsal Cuts

Summary: The injection that corrects sagging male skin.


Teen Idol
Summary: A grown woman (Kristen Wiig) finally receives a visit from her favorite teen idol (Alec Baldwin), many years after the fact.

Sex and the City
Summary: Mr. Big (Alec Baldwin) isn't allowed to have sex.

Finders Keepers
Summary: A man (Will Forte) finds a car with his metal detector and doesn't want to give it back to the rightful owner (Alec Baldwin).

SNL Transcripts