Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 36: Episode 3








10c: Jane Lynch / Bruno Mars

Sunday Night Football

Faith Hill.....Jane Lynch
Al Michaels.....Jason Sudeikis
Cris Collinsworth.....Bill Hader

Al Michaels: Tonight the Philadelphia Eagles and the San Francisco 49ers in an east coast - west coast battle. I'm Al Michaels.

Cris Collinsworth: And I'm Cris Collinsworth, and this is Sunday Night Football.

[ Opening sequence for Sunday Night Football plays. ]

V/0: All right, listen up America. It's Sunday night, and that means football night right here. Heh heh heh. So, let's hit it!

Faith Hill: [ singing ]
"All right, Sunday night, kickin' back,
Everybody looking at the quarterback.
San Francisco is the place to be,
'Cause it's Sunday Night Football on NBC!"

Al Michaels: Okay we're coming to you live from beautiful Candlestick Park.

Cris Collinsworth: The Eagles won the coin toss, It's time for kickoff here on Sunday Night Football.

Faith Hill: [ singing ]
"Football, Touchdown, Sunday night,
The tough get rough in a primetime fight.
Al and Cris are the best on TV,
And it's touchdown time on NBC!"

Cris Collinsworth: Gotta love that new theme song.

Al Michaels: Yep, nothing says football like a woman singing on a field. Oh, I guess we're going back.

Faith Hill: [ singing ]
"Sunday Night Football here's the score,
Niners comin' at you and they're 0-4
Eagles lost a quarterback Michael Vick,
He used to fight dogs but tonight he's sick."

Al Michaels: Thank you for that informative and long theme song, but moving on, we...

Cris Collinsworth: Oh... oh...

Faith Hill: [ singing ]
"NBC, NFL, NBC,
Did you know the Eagles have a rich history?
Founded in the 30s by Commissioner Bell,
And a local businessman named Ludlow Wray."

[ Al and Cris stare dumbfounded, song continues. ]

Faith Hill: [ singing ]
"Salsa olives sour cream dip,
Spread it on a layer of tortilla chips.
You add some guacamole and some melted cheese,
Your mouth just scored a touchdown here on NBC!"

Cris Collinsworth: That was a nacho recipe.

Faith Hill: [ singing ]
"Touchdown, touchdown, touchdown time,
Sunday night and we're all feeling fine.
There will be touchdowns - it's a guarantee,
'Cause the game already started and it's 14-3!"

Al Michaels: Did she say the game already started?!

Cris Collinsworth: What the hell?!

Faith Hill: [ singing ]
"49'ers have 56 active players,
Here they are in no particular order:
Kevin Boss, Jason Hill and Josh Morgan,
53 more to go on NBC!"

Cris Collinsworth: We'll be right back after this with more theme song on Sunday Night Football.

[ Cue Sunday Night Football logo. ]

[ Fade out ]


Submitted Anonymously


SNL Transcripts