Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 36: Episode 5















10e: Jon Hamm / Rihanna

Back to the Future 25th Anniversary DVD

Director's Voice.....Paul Brittain
Al Pacino.....Bill Hader
Eddie Murphy.....Jay Pharoah
Jennifer Tilly.....Kristen Wiig
Sam Kinison.....Bobby Moynihan
Robin Williams.....Jon Hamm

[ open with clips from "Back to the Future" ]

Announcer: 25 years ago, Robert Zemeckis took us on a journey... back in time. And now, you can take that journey again, with the 25th Anniversary DVD of "Back to the Future". Including never-before-seen screen tests:

[ cut to vintage screen test clip ]

Director's Voice: Al Pacino, as Doc Brown!

Al Pacino: Alright... alright... alright. I'm Doc Brown! "MARTY! If my calculations are correct, when this baby hits 88 miles per hour! You're gonna see some serious shi--"

Director's Voice: Okay, cut!

[ cut to next audition ]

Director's Voice: Eddie Murphy. Screen test.

Eddie Murphy: "Doc, Doc! Listen to me! The bruise on your head -- I KNOW what happened! You told me the whole story! You were standing on your toilet... you were hanging the clock... you FELL!.. and you hit your head on the SINK! And THAT'S when you came up with the idea of the FLUX capacitor!" [ a beat ] Hey, man, what the hell's this movie about?!

Director's Voice: It's about time travel, Eddie.

Eddie Murphy: TIME travel?! [ he chuckles and claps his hands ] Oh, my God, that is HILARIOUS! That's CRAZY, man! That's FUNNY! That means you can go in the FUTURE, and do some stuff your ass ain't even done yet! Like, hey -- I ain't slippin' yet, but I WILL! YEAH!! [ he chuckles ] That is funny!

[ cut to next audition ]

Director's Voice: Jennifer Tilly. Take One. "Why do you keep calling me Calvin?"

Jennifer Tilly: [ nasally ] "Well, that's your name, isn't it? "Calvin Klein"? It's written all over your underwe-e-ear."

Director's Voice: Okay. Maybe you could play it a little more natural?

Jennifer Tilly: Sure. [ no change ] "Calvin Klein. It's written all over your underwe-e-ear." Hey. That was great.

[ cut to next audition ]

Director's Voice: Sam Kinison. Take One.

Sam Kinison: [ subdued ] "Wait, Doc... Are you telling me... that you built a time machine... out of a [ screaming ] DE-LOR-E-ANNN??!! YOU IDIOT!!!" [ starts screaming wildly ]

Director's Voice: Wait! Sam!

Sam Kinison: AAGGGHHH!!! AAAAGGGHHHHHH!!!!

[ cut to next audition ]

Director's Voice: Robin Williams. Take One.

Robin Williams: [ manic ad-libbing ] "Marty! It's getting heavy in here. Ooh! This! Oo-oo-ooh! 1.21 gigawatts! Yo! Marty! Idiot! We gotta get the hell outta here! Noooo, Marty! We gotta HARNESS the lightning! Who-oo-oo-oo! Praise Jesus!" [ holds up his hand a la Senor Wences ] "Ooh! The space-time continuum, si!"

Director's Voice: Cut!

Robin Williams: Did I get it? [ he wraps his arms around his legs and thrusts his pelvis ] Mr. Happy thinks so! [ cut to next audition ]

Director's Voice: Al Pacino.

Al Pacino: Alright... alright. "1.21 GIGAwatts?! GREAT, Scott!"

Director's Voice: No, no... It's an expression. Like, "Great Scott!"

Al Pacino: Right, right, right. Okay. "1.21 GIGAwatts?! You're doing a great JOB, Scott! Hey, everyone! Three cheers for SCOTT!"

Director's Voice: Okay, you can go.

Al Pacino: Alright.

[ cut back to film footage ]

Announcer: The 25th Anniversary "Back to the Future" DVD. Own it today!

[ fade ]


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