Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 36: Episode 6


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Air Date:

Host:

Musical Guest:

Special Guests:

Cameos:

Bit Players:



November 13th, 2010

Scarlett Johansson

Arcade Fire

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China Press Conference
Summary: During press conference in China, President Barack Obama (Fred Armisen) manages to once again upset Chinese leader Hu Jintao (Bill Hader) regarding money owed to his country.

Recurring Characters: President Barack Obama, Hu Jintao.


Montage


Scarlett Johansson's Monologue
Summary: Scarlett Johansson, Dina Lohan (Kristen Wiig), and Ke$ha (Abby Elliott) sing "Class" from "Chicago" to emphasize how people in the entertainment industry no longer display any level of class.


M-TV
Summary: Although they no longer play music, M-TV has a smattering of reality-based teen pregnancy programs to choose from.

Recurring Characters: Snooki.

Transcript


Millionaire Matchmaker
Summary: Patty Stanger (Scarlett Johansson) has no interest in findingin a suitable match for mousy lawyer Candace (Vanessa Bayer).


The Manuel Ortiz Show
Summary: Manuel Ortiz (Fred Armisen) walks his endless line of guests through their problems with endless Spanish dancing, as long as the music plays at the correct speed.

Recurring Characters: Manuel Ortiz.


Unstoppable
Summary: Denzel Washington (Jay Pharoah) cracks one-liners as he attempts to stop a speeding train in a new action thriller.

Recurring Characters: Denzel Washington.

Transcript


Hollywood Dish
Summary: Entertainment hosts Brady Trunk (Bill Hader) and Anastasia Sticks (Kristen Wiig) feign interest while interviewing Scarlett Johansson.

Recurring Characters: Brady Trunk, Anastasia Sticks.


Arcade Fire performs "We Used To Wait"


Weekend Update with Seth Meyers
Summary: Former President George W. Bush (Jason Sudeikis) and rapper Kanye West (Jay Pharoah) have miraculously forged a friendship since the former left office. Chatty Gladys Madden (Vanessa Bayer) relates her harrowing experience during a cruise liner unrelated its onboard fire, as bored husband Frank (Fred Armisen) ignores her.

Recurring Characters: George W. Bush.


St. Katherine's Middle School
Summary: Marvin's (Kenan Thompson) optimism-induced friends repeatedly force him to stand up and fall despite his broken knee.


An SNL Digital Short
Summary: Student (Andy Samberg) raps "What Was That?" to UN Assembly in regards to head-scratching events from American history.


A Treat from Paula Deen's Kitchen
Summary: Paula Deen (Kristen Wiig) loves to cook fattening foods with butter and oil, but is forced to plug eight-ply paper towels for the benefit of her health-conscious viewers.

Transcript


Arcade Fire performs "Sprawl II: Mountains Beyond Mountains"


Stars of Tomorrow
Summary: Competing child stars Laura Parsons (Vanessa Bayer) and Amanda Starr (Scarlett Johansson) perform monologues from films intended for an older audience.


Mike's Busteria
Summary: Buy a ceramic bust from Mike (Fred Armisen) to add that extra touch of class to your mundane daily activities.

Recurring Characters: Mike, Lexie.


Goodnights
Transcript






Dress Rehearsal Cuts

60 Minutes
Summary: Reporter (Jason Sudeikis) is giddy with excitement when he gets to interview President Barack Obama (Fred Armisen).

Recurring Characters: President Barack Obama.


What's That Name
Summary: Game show contestants are challenged to recall the name of their buildings' doormen.


The Milkmaid
Summary: A group of guys get their kicks from watching a sexy milkmaid (Scarlett Johansson) milk a cow.


Camel Tame
Summary: Businesswomen (Kristen Wiig, Nasim Pedrad) avoid embarrassing camel toe by wearing a padded bulge in their tight clothing.

Note: This ad parody will air on next week's episode.



SNL Transcripts