
Saturday Night Live Transcripts

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Season 36: Episode 9

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Air Date:

Host:

Musical Guest:

Special Guests:

Cameos:

Bit Players:

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December 11th, 2010

Paul Rudd

Paul McCartney

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None

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A Message from the President of the United States
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Summary: After being held hostage by the Republican Party, President Barack Obama (Fred Armisen) willingly authorizes tax cuts for the rich.

Recurring Characters: President Barack Obama.

Transcript
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Paul Rudd's Monologue
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Summary: Paul Rudd mistakenly thought fans chanting "Paul! Paul!" outside the building were interested in him, until he realizes his musical guest is Paul McCartney.

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Feline Culinary Creations
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Summary: Succulent gourmet dishes are used as the inspiration for the wet square glop that ends up in finicky cats' dinner bowls.

Note: This ad parody was cut from the dress rehearsals of the last two episodes.

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Vogelchecks
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Summary: The affectionate Vogelcheck Family (Fred Armisen, Kristen Wiig, Bill Hader, Paul Rudd) greet Romanian relatives (Nasim Pedrad, Paul Brittain) with wet, sloppy kisses over Christmas.

Recurring Characters: Mr. Vogelcheck, Mrs. Vogelcheck, Dwayne Vogelcheck, Santa Claus.
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What's That Name?
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Summary: Game show contestants (Paul Rudd, Vanessa Bayer) recognize third-tier celebrities, but can't recall the little people like a building doorman (Kenan Thompson) and cleaning lady (Kristen Wiig) who are a part of their daily lives.

Note: This sketch was cut from the dress rehearsal of last month's episode hosted by Scarlett Johansson.

Transcript
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An SNL Digital Short
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Summary: Andy Samberg and Paul Rudd are "Stumblin'" through life, with a tiny harmonica interlude courtesy of Paul McCartney.
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Julian Assange in Prison
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Summary: From prison, WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange (Bill Hader interrupts a MasterCard ad to threaten his return to do personal harm against favorite Internet web sites.

Recurring Characters: Julian Assange.

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Sexually Speaking
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Summary: Aggressive producer Roger Brush (Fred Armisen) fills in when the regular female host is too ill to do the show.

Recurring Characters: Roger Brush.

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Paul McCartney performs "Jet"
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Lyrics
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Weekend Update with Seth Meyers
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Summary: Paul McCartney join Seth Meyers for a Weekend Update Audio Caption by Prince Charles and Camilla. Stefon (Bill Hader) lists more inappropriate New York hotspots for families on Christmas vacation.

Recurring Characters: Stefon.

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Holiday Jam
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Summary: Math teacher (Paul Rudd) makes bad puns as the school principal (Jay Pharoah) gets overemotional about the school mascot.
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Meryl Streep On Ice
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Summary: Despite lack of experience, Meryl Streep (Abby Elliott) is a beloved genius when she straps on a pair of ice skates and performs at Madison Square Garden.

Recurring Characters: Meryl Streep.

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Paul McCartney performs "Band on the Run"
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Lyrics
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Broadway Cares
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Summary: Paul Rudd's efforts to perform a solo from "Cabaret" is interrupted by stagehand Jeff's (Jason Sudeikis) antics with the spotlight.

Recurring Characters: Mike Underballs, Jeff.

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Paul McCartney performs "A Day in the Life" / "Give Peace a Chance"
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Lyrics
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Goodnights / Paul McCartney performs "Get Back"
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Transcript
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Dress Rehearsal Cuts

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Baby, It's Cold Outside
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Summary: A couple (Paul Rudd, Kristen Wiig) sing a Christmas ditty to one another.
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Job Fair
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Summary: Recruiters (Jason Sudeikis, Nasim Pedrad) interview a series of nervous and/or weird people and Paul McCartney for an available computer job.
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Blackjack
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Summary: Blackjack dealer doesn't properly deal the cards to players.
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The Giving Tree
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Summary: Storyteller (Paul Rudd) goes nuts while reading a Christmas story to kids.
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SNL Transcripts
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