Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 36: Episode 11


















10k: Jim Carrey / The Black Keys

Merryville Trolley Ride

Guy.....Kenan Thompson
Girl.....Kristen Wiig
Robots.....Jim Carrey, Taran Killam, Bill Hader
Repairman.....Bobby Moynihan

[ open on exterior footage of amusement park ]

[ dissolve to interior, Merry-Go-Trolley ride, as a couple rolls through ]

Girl: Yay! The Merry-Go-Trolley ride! Honey, I haven't been on this in forever!

Guy: [ chuckling ] Yeah, your sister told me it was your favorite.

Girl: [ pointing ] Oh, look! Here come the Merry-Go-Brothers!

[ two Merry-Go-Brother robots rise with a guitar and tambourine to perform in an eerie manner ]

Jingle: "If you join with our friends in a friendly song, then you'll have friendship all day long. So come along and sing all day, 'cause that's the Merryville brother way!"

[ third robot rises to bang a triangle, then they all lower back behind the wall ]

Girl: Oh, my God! Aren't they great!

Guy: I don't know... they actually creeped me out a little bit.

Girl: Ohhh! They're not creepy, they're cute!

[ suddenly, the ride shorts out ]

Guy: Wha -- what was that?

Girl: Hmm... I don't know.

[ Repairman enters ]

Repairman: Hey -- sorry, folks. It's a little issue with the track. Uh, we should be up and running in no time.

[ he exits ]

Guy: You better be quick!

Girl: [ playfully ] Don't say that!

[ suddenly, the two Merry-Go-Brother robots rise again and perform in an eerie manner ]

Jingle: "If you join with our friends in a friendly song, then you'll have friendship all day long. So come along and sing all day, 'cause that's the Merryville brother way!"

[ the third robot rises to bang a triangle, then they all slowly turns their gazes toward the guy ]

Guy: [ uneasy ] Why -- why aren't they going away?

Girl: What?

Guy: [ freaking out ] Did you see him WINK at me?!

[ the robots lower back behind the wall ]

Girl: Honey! [ the ride kicks into gear ] There! That's so cute!

Guy: Oh. Well, at least we're moving.

[ the ride shorts out again ]

[ suddenly, the two Merry-Go-Brother robots rise again and perform in an eerie manner, reaching out to almost touch the guy as he freaks out ]

Jingle: "If you join with our friends in a friendly song, then you'll have friendship all day long. So come along and sing all day --!"

[ the robots short out and lock into position ]

Guy: [ sweating ] Well -- why'd they stop?!

Girl: Oh... nothing. [ she smiles ]

Guy: [ sobbing ] I -- I think it's coming for me!

[ the second robot reaches forward to brush his hand against the guy's cheek ]

Guy: [ he screams ] IT CAN REACH MY FACE!!

[ the robots kicks back into gear ]

Jingle: "-- that's the Merryville brother way!"

[ the third robot rises headless to bang a triangle ]

Guy: Oh, oh...! Get me out of this car!!

Girl: Honey, will you calm down?

[ the robots finally lower back behind the wall ]

[ the Repairman returns ]

Repairman: Hey -- sorry, folks. This is a real mess! You know, everyone's gonna get a FULL refund. The bad news is: We have to evacuate the ride, but I can take one of you at a time. So, Miss, come with me?

Girl: Oh! Okay. Alright. Well, I'll be outside, honey.

Guy: WAIT!! Wait! Take MEEEEE!!!

[ she follows the Repairman away from the car ]

Guy: Don't just leave me here!

[ suddenly, the two robots rise again, this time wielding machetes ]

Jingle: "If you join with our friends in a friendly song, then you'll have friendship all day long. So come along and sing all day, 'cause that's the Merryville brother way!"

[ the robots climb over the wall and advance upon the guy and put him in a chokehold ]

Guy: HEYYY!!! THEY GOT KNIVES!!! Actually... that's a MACHETE!! NO!! NO!!

[ the robots begin to push the guy's car forward, as the third robot rises with his head in place ]

Guy: Hey, that's ME!!

[ fade ]


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