Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 36: Episode 11










10k: Jim Carrey / The Black Keys

A Taste of New York

Emcee…Bill Hader
Audience member 1.....Paul Brittain
Audience member 2.....Abby Elliott
Audience member 3.....Vanessa Bayer
Audience member 4.....Andy Samberg
Musician 1.....Fred Armisen
Musician 2.....Jim Carrey
Musician 3.....Kristen Wiig

Emcee: Welcome to the Cos-Potin lounge in a mid-town area. How many of you are here from out of town? All of you! Wow! What did you guys do today?

Audience Member 1: We went to the Statue of Liberty!

Audience Member 3: We had pizza!

Emcee: Hahahaha! Very nice! Well now we have a special treat for you, this group is from right here in the Big Apple. And they are very authentic, very true to the city. So please say hello to A Taste of New York! A Taste of New York.

Musician 1: Good evening. Ugh, we are A Taste of New York.

Musician 2: Just a taste.

Musician 1: And, ugh, we’re from an area called between avenue V and avenue C.

Musician 2: Is there anything you’d like to hear?

Audience members 3, 4: New York! New York!

Audience members 1, 2: On Broadway!

Musician 1: Okay, yeah we’re gonna get to those for sure. We’re gonna, ugh, start out with this first. 2,3,4. (sing) See my television set, get swiped by a junky. I guess it just got up, and walked away.

Musician 2: And Parco up stair’s, threw a chair through a window. The hustlers, like to drink up on the stool.

Musicians 1, 2, 3: So we have a question for you. Can we stay with you? O please?

Musician 1: (speak) Thank you. You guys all having fun in New York?

Audience Member 1: Could you play something a little bit more upbeat?

Musician 2: Absolutely. But we still have quite a few verses of this song. Listen.

Musician 1: (sing) All the junkies on my block, hang out in my stairwell. Some drag queens I know, hang out there, too.

Musician 2: I saw a family of rats, nesting in a baby crib. People on the subway, stare at my scabs.

Musician 3: Walking down the street, with my stockings all red, when I went to the drug store, they called the cops on me.

Musicians 1, 2, 3: So we have a question for you, Can we stay with you? O! Please!

Audience member 4: (speak) Play something else!

Musician 2: Okay, we will! We will! But first, Can we stay with you?

Audience member 4: What?

Audience Member 3: No!

Musician 1: Can we stay with you? Or you? We’ve had a very challenging week.

Audience Member 2: No thank you.

Audience Member 1: No!

Musicians 1, 2, 3: (sing) Can we stay with you? Can we stay with you? I said we have a question for you! Can we stay with you? O please?

Musician 2: (sing) We have also noticed that you need a room key to use the bathroom in the lobby.

Musician 1: (speak) So our next song is, ugh, also a question. It’s called “Can We Use Your Room Key?” We’re not gonna go in to your room

Musicians 1, 2, 3: (sing) So we have a question for you. Can we use your room key? To use your bathroom.


Submitted by: Connor Cronholm


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