Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 36: Episode 16










10p: Miley Cyrus / The Strokes

The Disney Channel Acting School

.....Miley Cyrus
Raven Symone.....Kenan Thompson
Kid #1.....Paul Brittain
Kid #2.....Taran Killam
Kid #3.....Bobby Moynihan
Kid #4.....Abby Elliott

Miley Cyrus: Hi there! I’m Miley Cyrus from “Hannah Montana!”

Raven Symone: And from “That’s So Raven,” I’m so Raven-Symone!

Miley Cyrus: And if you’re a teen actor looking to improve your craft, look no further. It’s the “Disney Channel Acting School.”

Raven Symone: At the “Disney Channel Acting School,” we’ll teach you all the skills you need to be the star of your very own Disney Channel show.

Miley Cyrus: Disney Channel Acting is its own art form. And to master it, you’ll need to master a special set of tools.

(Both strike a pose)

Miley Cyrus: On Disney Channel every person needs to be the loudest person in the room. Watch…. What’s wrong, Jamantha?

Raven Symone: If I don’t get an A on my science project, I can’t go boogey boardin’ with Devan!

Miley Cyrus: Well, then you should talk Thomas into trading projects with you.

Raven Symone: GOOD IDEA!!!!!!!!!

Raven Symone: In the Disney Channel World, every child is smarter than every adult.

Kid #1: Hey sweetie you wanna see my stamp collection?

Raven Symone: O gee! Can I?! I bet there super cool.

Miley Cyrus: Sweet Niblets! You’ll also learn advanced techniques like, “The Pause then Dis.”

Raven Symone: So you have to pause then destroy the person, for example ask me if I like anchovies.

Kid #2: Do you like anchovies –

Raven Symone: Ehh… (10 second pause)… I don’t think so!

Miley Cyrus: Plus, we’ll show you how to master classic Disney Channel moves like… “Eating then Freezing.” “Reacting to Stinky Feet.”

Raven Symone: Ewww! OOOOOO! Ewwww!!!!!

Miley Cyrus: “Spying in a Doorway.” And “Entering on a Scooter!”

Kid #3: Did you hear Cody’s great grandma died!

Raven Symone: The funeral is Monday!

Miley Cyrus: Disney Channel is all about senserly overload. So you wanna make sure your cloths are as loud and crazy as you acting.

Kid #2: I’m auditioning for “Wizards of Waverly Place,” what should I where?

Raven Symone: How about a bright pink hoodie with a big ass daisy on it.

Kid #4: It’s a little bright.

Raven Symone: What did you say?

Miley Cyrus: Let me show you this blouse I whore on episode 75.

Raven Symone: Glasses on!

Kid #3: That’s so Raven!

Raven Symone: Shut up!

Miley Cyrus: So come on down to the Disney Channel Acting School! Call today! Parents permission, not needed!


Submitted by: Connor Cronholm


SNL Transcripts