Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 36: Episode 22

10v: Justin Timberlake / Lady Gaga

What's That Name?

Vince Blight.....Bill Hader
.....Justin Timberlake
.....Lady Gaga
Katie.....Abby Elliott
Alphonse.....Fred Armisen
Chris Kirkpatrick.....Taran Killam

Announcer: And now, it's time to play: "What's That Name?" And here's your host -- Vince Blight!

[ Vince Blight runs onto the game set ]

Vince Blight: Hello! Hello and welcome to "What's That Name?: Celebrity Edition"! The rules are the same as always: We show you a person, you tell us their name. And our contestants today are JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE!!

Justin Timberlake: Alright! How you doing, Vince Blight!

Vince Blight: Good, good! And LADY GAGA!!

Lady Gaga: [ covering one eye ] I'm ready to play... and win!

Vince Blight: Alright! And the firt question goes to you, Justin: [ reveal image ] "This funky feline rapped with Paula Abdul." What's That Name?

Justin Timberlake: I know that. Uhhhh... that's MC Skat Cat!

[ ding! ]

Justin Timberlake: [ singing ] "Two steps forward, two steps back..."

Vince Blight: Oh, you're the man, J.T.! You just won ten dollars. Next up: Lady Gaga. [ reveal image ] "Though best known for acting in 'The Princess Bride', he's also written several off-Broadway plays."

Lady Gaga: That is Wallace Shawn.

[ ding! ]

Vince Blight: Alright! Ten dollars to you! Ready to go again, J.T.?

Justin Timberlake: You know it, Vince!

Vince Blight: [ he chuckles ] Ah, this next question is worth $100,000! Here to read the clue... is the woman herself.

[ Katie runs out ]

Katie: We made love at the W Hotel two weeks ago. It was after your premiere. You told me I was beautiful, and to, uh, never give up on my photography! What's my name?

Justin Timberlake: [ dumbfounded ] ...Hey, girl! You... you look good!

Katie: I know! That's why you had sex with me! What's my name? We had an inside joke about how my feet were cold! What's my name?

Justin Timberlake: Uhhh... a hot babe like you... you gotta have a hot name! So... Cheyenne.

[ buzz! ]

Vince Blight: Audience! What's That Name?

Audience: KATIE!!

Katie: Maybe you would have remembered me... if I was a rapping cat.

Vince Blight: Ooooooohhhh! Good takedown!

Justin Timberlake: [ defensive ] Okay, look -- what the hell kind of show is this?

Vince Blight: It's "What's That Name?: Celebrity Edition"! Okay, Lady Gaga, you're up next.

Justin Timberlake: Get ready, Gaga... this game's tough.

Vince Blight: We've got another walk-on clue.

[ Alphone steps out ]

Alphonse: You don't know me. I saw your Monster show and I hung out by the stage door.

Lady Gaga: [ excited ] Al-Phonse!

[ ding! ]

Justin Timberlake: How -- how could you remember him?

Lady Gaga: He said he loves my music. You don't forget something like that!

[ Timberlake appears stung ]

Lady Gaga: Alphonse. The woman next to you in the Jazzy -- that was your sister, Marie, right?

Alphonse: Yeah, yeah! You know, her knees are lousy.

Lady Gaga: Well, you go see MY guy at Lennox Hill! He's the BEST! And you have him send me the bill.

Alphonse: I pray for you in church!

Lady Gaga: And I for you.

Justin Timberlake: This show's awful...

Vince Blight: I think you're awful!

Justin Timberlake: Look, man... I'm just trying to raise some money for my charity, The Hope Foundation.

Vince Blight: [ sarcastically ] Ah, the Hope Foundation! What do they do?

Justin Timberlake: Well, you know... they, uh... uh... they, uh... they.. they raise hope. Uh... they raise hope --

[ buzz! ]

Lady Gaga: If I may, Vince: They promote musical education.

Vince Blight: Thanks, Gaga! And, uh, who are you playing for?

Lady Gaga: I am playing for the People of Japan, of course.

Vince Blight: Of course! Playing for any other cause would be a slap in their face! [ Timberlake is visibly annoyed ] So, Justin -- you ready to forget the next name?

Justin Timberlake: [ irked ] Okay! Alright! I just want to say that I meet a lot of people every day, and I love ALL of my fans, okay? But when you only spend two minutes with someone in passing, it's hard to remember their names!

Vince Blight: That's fair. Okay, no worry, J.T. Next clue shouldn't be hard. Bring him out1

[ Chris Kirkpatrick, formerly of N*Sync steps out ]

Chris Kirkpatrick: I was in N*Sync with you! But I'm NOT Lance Bass, you, or Jowy Fatone! What's my name?

[ Timberlake is dumbstruck, as Lady Gaga covers her mouth ]

Vince Blight: If you can tell me even part of his name... I'll give every charity on Earth TEN MILLION DOLLARS!

Lady Gaga: [ still covering her mouth ] Oh, I know it, I know it, I know it, I know it...

Vince Blight: I KNOW you know it, Gaga! You know it! But it's J.T.'s turn.

Chris Kirkpatrick: Come on, man! What's my name, J.T.!

Justin Timberlake: [ shaking his head ] Uh... I think it's like, uh... I know this. Uh... Chu-, Choy-. Char-... Charney! Chartie!

Vince Blight: [ amused ] You think his name is "Chartie"? We don't need a buzzer to know that that's wrong! But let's hear one, anyway!

[ buzz! ]

Vince Blight: Audience! What's That Name!



Justin Timberlake: I -- I -- I knew that! I knew that! I knew that!

Vince Blight: Yeah, okay -- what's his name? Real quick! We just said it!

Justin Timberlake: [ stumbling ] Kirk -- Kirk -- Kirk Charlie!

[ buzz! ]

Vince Blight: You are awful! You're awful! And that's our show. I'd like to thank the two of you for playing!

Lady Gaga: And I... would like to thank the crew. The entire crew! Eddie... Mike C... Donna. And everyone in the audience: Matt...

[ fade ]

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