Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 37: Episode 12

11l: Daniel Radcliffe / Lana Del Rey

Glenda Okones for Mayor III

Glenda Okones.....Kristen Wiig

[ open on black-and-white photo of tree stumps ]

Announcer: Glenda Okones admits she hates the environment and her eldest daughter. But what else is she hiding?

[ flash-cut to Okones ]

Glenda Okones: Real quick, folks. I'm Glenda Okones again. I did once break into an elderly woman's home, pulle her from her bed, roughed her up a little bit. [ she holds up her finger ] Before you go to judgment, I want you to know it was my own mother. She has been complaining for about five years: "I'm gonna be attacked, I just know it...!" So I got it done for her! Now she can move on to something else. And I'll tell you this: I was never her favorite, and I'm an only child. Vote Okones!

Announcer: Glenda Okones for Mayor.

[ fade ]

SNL Transcripts