Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 37: Episode 15


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Air Date:

Host:

Musical Guest:

Special Guests:

Cameos:













Bit Players:


February 18th, 2012

Maya Rudolph

Sleigh Bells

None

Lorne Michaels

Paul Simon

Phil Hyms

Amy Poehler

Justin Timberlake

Bill O'Reilly

Kate Upton

None

New York Sports Now
Summary: Dan Mardell (Bill Hader) and fellow sportscasters (Kenan Thompson, Jay Pharaoh) all have Lin-sanity for Jeremy Lin, but Joe Dickson (Taran Killam) inadvertently makes racist jokes in his desperate attempts to fit in with his co-anchors.

Transcript


Montage


Maya Rudolph's Monologue
Summary: Maya Rudolph sings "Do You Wanna Funk" in regards to how much booty she got while she was a cast member.

Recurring Characters: Stefon.


Bronx Beat with Betty & Jodi
Summary: Betty Caruso (Amy Poehler) and Jodi Deitz (Maya Rudolph) chatter with their show's goofball boom mike operator (Justin Timberlake) and camera guy (Andy Samberg).

Recurring Characters: Betty Caruso, Jodi Deitz.


Maya Angelou's: I Know Why the Caged Bird Laughs!
Summary: Maya Angelou (Maya Rudolph) pulls childish pranks on celebrity friends Morgan Freeman (Jay Pharoah), Dr. Cornel West (Kenan Thompson) and Stephen King (Bill Hader).

Recurring Characters: Maya Angelou, Morgan Freeman, Stephen King.


At Home with Beyonce and Jay-Z
Summary: Beyonce (Maya Rudolph) and Jay-Z (Jay Pharoah) welcome celebrity guests to their home to meet new daughter Blue Ivy.

Recurring Characters: Beyonce Knowles, Jay-Z, Prince, Angelina Jolie, Brad Pitt, Taylor Swift.

Transcript


Sleigh Bells perform "Comeback Kid"


Weekend Update with Seth Meyers
Summary: Seth Meyers and Amy Poehler ask "Really!?!" in regards to the Congressional birth control mandate debate that didn't include any women.

Transcript


What Up With That?
Summary: Diondre Cole (Kenan Thompson) interrupts guests Bill O'Reilly and Lindsey Buckingham (Bill Hader) during the President's Day Special so he can continue singing his theme song.

Recurring Characters: Diondre Cole, Lindsey Buckingham.


Super Showcase
Summary: Game show contestant (Vanessa Bayer) loses out on a showcase, so wacky-voiced starlets Vonda (Kristen Wiig) and Shonda (Maya Rudolph) show her all the prizes she didn't win.


The Obama Show
Summary: Michelle Obama's (Maya Rudolph) obesity stance is presented as a "Cosby Show" spoof that finds President Barack Obama (Fred Armisen) trying to sneak a hoagie behind the First-Lady's back.

Recurring Characters: President Barack Obama, Michelle Obama, Joe Biden, Hillary Clinton.

Transcript


Sleigh Bells perform "End of the Line"


How's He Doing?
Summary: Black panelists (Jay Pharoah, Maya Rudolph) are willing to re-elect President Barack Obama no matter what offbeat scenarios are presented by the show's host (Kenan Thompson).

Transcript


Goodnights
Transcript



Barnes&Noble.com



Dress Rehearsal Cuts

The Voice
Summary: During her audition, a contestant (Maya Rudolph) performs in many different voices and punches one of the judges for not choosing her.

Recurring Characters: Cee-Lo Green, Christina Aguilera.


Attorneys
Summary: Oversexed female attorneys (Maya Rudolph, Fred Armisen) try to seduce their make clients (Bobby Moynihan, Andy Samberg, Kenan Thompson, Jason Sudeikis).


Enchanted Forest
Summary: While in the forest, Paul Giamatti (Andy Samberg) tries to engage plants and animals in conversation.



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