Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 37: Episode 21

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Air Date:


Musical Guest:

Special Guests:


Bit Players:

May 12th, 2012

Will Ferrell



Kay Ferrell

Ana Gasteyer

Will Forte

Wally Feresten

Justin Bieber

Julian Casablancas

Justin Timberlake

Natalie Portman

Michael Bolton

Jon Hamm

Lorne Michaels

Liam Neeson

Michael Patrick O'Brien

Jorma Taccone

Akiva Schaffer

Danielle Flora

Biden's Room
Summary: After President Barack Obama (Fred Armisen) takes credit for his stance on gay marriage, Joe Biden (Jason Sudeikis) confides in bosom buddy George W. Bush (Will Ferrell).

Recurring Characters: President Barack Obama, Joe Biden, George W. Bush.



Will Ferrell's Monologue
Summary: Will Ferrell struggles to use his own words instead of a script to tell his Mom, Kay Ferrell, he loves her for Mother's Day.


One-A-Day Extra Strength Nasaflu
Summary: Woman (Kristen Wiig) tries to promote her family's preferred cold medicine as her husband (Will Ferrell) yells loudly while sneezing.


The Culps
Summary: Music teachers Marty (Will Ferrell) and Bobbi Mohan-Culp (Ana Gasteyer) perform a medley at a gay dance.

Recurring Characters: Marty Culp, Bobbi Mohan-Culp.

Stay Free Maxi Pads Ladies Long Drive Championship 1994
Summary: Commentators Pete Twinkle (Jason Sudeikis), Greg Stink (Will Forte), and sideline reporter Randy Feather (Will Ferrell) keep the Stay Free Maxi Pad sponsorship coming in lieu of focusing on golf match between Virginia Sacramento (Kristen Wiig) and Greta "Cuckoo Clock" Kukendorf (Vanessa Bayer).

Recurring Characters: Pete Twinkle, Greg Stink.


100th SNL Digital Short

Usher performs "Scream"

Weekend Update with Seth Meyers
Summary: "Really!?!" Get In The Cage.

Recurring Characters: Nicolas Cage.

The 2012 Funkytown Debate

Broadway Sizzle
Summary: Public access hosts Darius Modelo (Bill Hader) and Cara Modelo La Bete (Kristen Wiig) observe Broadway hopefuls as they perform songs from musicals currently in production.

Usher performs "Climax"

Anniversary Toast
Summary: A priest (Jason Sudeikis) is flummoxed by interruptive toasts made by distanr family members during his parents' (Bill Hader, Kate McKinnon) 25th wedding anniversary.

Recurring Characters: Gail, Hamilton.

Almost Pizza
Summary: Dad (Bill Hader) questions the mysterious new pizza facsimile that Mom (Kristen Wiig) is trying to convince him to eat.

Note: Repeat from 11r.


Dress Rehearsal Cuts

SNL Transcripts