Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 38: Episode 2









12b: Joseph Gordon-Levitt / Mumford and Sons

Tres Equis II

Son of the Most Interesting Man in the World.....Joseph Gordon-Levitt
Companion.....Kate McKinnon
The Most Interesting Man in the World.....Jason Sudeikis

(The Son of the Most Interesting Man in the World practices Martial arts [poorly] in front of the Mirror.)

Announcer: He's got a white belt in Judo, and Tae Kwon Do.

(In Bed, he reads "The Firm")

He has a first edition...of every John Grisham Novel.

(Sitting in a Cafe, he writes " -2.00" in the tip line and hands it to his server.)

When he tips, he puts a negative amount, and says it's Cashback.

(He sits in bed, strumming a guitar with two other guitars visable in the frame.)

He has multiple parody Twitter accounts.

(An account pops up under the name "Dildo Baggins.")

And he can almost do a 180 on his Razor Scooter

(He tries and fails to achieve this.)

(He sits at a bar, with a Tres Equis beer, next to a very bored looking blonde companion.)

Son of the Most Interesting Man in the World: I am not only the Son of the Most Interesting Man in the World...I AM the most Interesting-

(His father, the Most Interesting Man in the World, storms in angrily.)

The Most Interesting Man in the World: WHAT THE HELL? What in the Hell is this? Are you kidding me? Is this really happening?

Son of the Most Interesting Man in the World: Get out of here, Dad! I'm doing a beer ad.

The Most Interesting Man in the World: Really? What, and who is this? One of your Prostitutes?

Son of the Most Interesting Man in the World: So?

The Most Interesting Man in the World: So? Who is paying for her?

Companion: He said you are.

The Most Interesting Man in the World: Oh, did he?

Son of the Most Interesting Man in the World: I didn't say that! I never said that!

The Most Interesting Man in the World: THIRTY YEARS OLD! Son, you are thirty years old!

Son of the Most Interesting Man in the World: You should be proud of me! I'm an entrepreneur!

The Most Interesting Man in the World: Oh, he's an entrepreneur! Like how you managed those rappers?

Son of the Most Interesting Man in the World: Those are my friends!

The Most Interesting Man in the World: THEY STOLE FROM YOU! (Noticing the bottle) And what is this? "Tres Equies?!"

Son of the Most Interesting Man in the World: Yes!

The Most Interesting Man in the World: "Tres Equies!" I could get sued for this! (He hurles the bottle off-screen, where it shatters) YOU SON OF A BITCH!

Son of the Most Interesting Man in the World: I HAVE NO INCOME!

The Most Interesting Man in the World: Get out of my house! Get out of my basement! You-

Son of the Most Interesting Man in the World: (Suddenly snapping) ONE SWIM MEET! YOU COULDN'T COME TO JUST ONE OF MY SWIM MEETS!

The Most Interesting Man in the World: Oh, Swim Meet? (To the Camera) He didn't even make the team! You Pussy! You swam two laps, and then you puked like a dog! They had to drain the pool!

Son of the Most Interesting Man in the World: (Storming off) I'm telling Mom!

The Most Interesting Man in the World: Oh, well good luck figuring out who the FUCK she is!

Announcer: (over a shot of the beer) Tres Equis. Spanish for Excellence.

(The Most Interesting Man In the World takes a sip, then spits it out.)

The Most Interesting Man in the World: This tastes like shit.


Submitted by: Ted Zoldan


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