Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 38: Episode 5

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Air Date:


Musical Guest:

Special Guests:


Bit Players:

October 20th, 2012

Bruno Mars

Bruno Mars


Tom Hanks


Second Presidential Debate
Summary: Candy Crowley (Aidy Bryant) moderates a debate between President Barack Obama (Jay Pharoah) and Mott Romney (Jason Sudeikis) that quickly turns into a confrontational pissing contest

Recurring Characters: President Barack Obama, Mitt Tomney, Tagg Romney.



Bruno Mars' Monologue
Summary: Bruno Mars quells concerns about his hosting abilities by singing a song.

Chanel No. 5
Summary: Brad Pitt (Taran Killam) makes a rambling endorsement for Chanel No. 5.

Recurring Characters: Brad Pitt.


Summary: Sunny Taylor Tompkins (Cecily Strong) introduces deadbeat guests that her audience love to hate on no matter what.

Taco Bell
Summary: Brad Pitt (Taran Killam) makes a rambling endorsement for Taco Bell.

Recurring Characters: Brad Pitt.

Pandora Internet Radio
Summary: When various station feeds falter, it's up to intern Devin (Bruno Mars) to perform live imitations of various singers.

Sad Mouse
Summary: Dejected after a couple of personal tragedies, Mark (Bruno Mars) tries to deliver happiness while standing on the city streets dressed as a large mouse.


Bruno Mars performs "Locked Out Of Heaven"

Weekend Update with Seth Meyers
Summary: Seth Meyers offer up his list of Debate Dos & Don'ts. Stefon (Bill Hader) outlines the hottest places to celebrate Halloween in New York City.

Recurring Characters: Stefon.


Merryville Haunted Castle

Recurring Characters:


Franklin's Dog Condoms
Summary: Brad Pitt (Taran Killam) makes a rambling endorsement for Franklin's Dog Condoms.

Recurring Characters: Brad Pitt.

Yeti Point
Summary: Lodge clerk (Bruno Mars) warns Mr. (Jason Sudeikis) and Mrs. Johnson (Vanessa Bayer) to beware the yeti who roams the woods.

Jonathan Zizmor M.D.
Summary: Brad Pitt (Taran Killam) makes a rambling endorsement for Jonathan Zizmor M.D.

Recurring Characters: Brad Pitt.

Bruno Mars performs "Young Girls"

Donkey Punch The Ballot!
Summary: DJ Supersoak (Jason Sudeikis) and Lil' Blaster (Nasim Pedrad) promote the Election Day festival that features wild bands and a Fake Hawaiian ID booth.

Recurring Characters: DJ Super Soak, Lil Blaster, MC George Castanza, Ass Dan, Ruth Bader Ginsburg.



Dress Rehearsal Cuts

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