Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 38: Episode 5


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Air Date:

Host:

Musical Guest:

Special Guests:

Cameos:

Bit Players:


October 20th, 2012

Bruno Mars

Bruno Mars

None

Tom Hanks

None

Second Presidential Debate
Summary: Candy Crowley (Aidy Bryant) moderates a debate between President Barack Obama (Jay Pharoah) and Mott Romney (Jason Sudeikis) that quickly turns into a confrontational pissing contest

Recurring Characters: President Barack Obama, Mitt Tomney, Tagg Romney.

Transcript


Montage


Bruno Mars' Monologue
Summary: Bruno Mars quells concerns about his hosting abilities by singing a song.


Chanel No. 5
Summary: Brad Pitt (Taran Killam) makes a rambling endorsement for Chanel No. 5.

Recurring Characters: Brad Pitt.

Transcript


Haters
Summary: Sunny Taylor Tompkins (Cecily Strong) introduces deadbeat guests that her audience love to hate on no matter what.


Taco Bell
Summary: Brad Pitt (Taran Killam) makes a rambling endorsement for Taco Bell.

Recurring Characters: Brad Pitt.


Pandora Internet Radio
Summary: When various station feeds falter, it's up to intern Devin (Bruno Mars) to perform live imitations of various singers.


Sad Mouse
Summary: Dejected after a couple of personal tragedies, Mark (Bruno Mars) tries to deliver happiness while standing on the city streets dressed as a large mouse.

Transcript


Bruno Mars performs "Locked Out Of Heaven"


Weekend Update with Seth Meyers
Summary: Seth Meyers offer up his list of Debate Dos & Don'ts. Stefon (Bill Hader) outlines the hottest places to celebrate Halloween in New York City.

Recurring Characters: Stefon.

Transcript


Merryville Haunted Castle
Summary:

Recurring Characters:

Transcript


Franklin's Dog Condoms
Summary: Brad Pitt (Taran Killam) makes a rambling endorsement for Franklin's Dog Condoms.

Recurring Characters: Brad Pitt.


Yeti Point
Summary: Lodge clerk (Bruno Mars) warns Mr. (Jason Sudeikis) and Mrs. Johnson (Vanessa Bayer) to beware the yeti who roams the woods.


Jonathan Zizmor M.D.
Summary: Brad Pitt (Taran Killam) makes a rambling endorsement for Jonathan Zizmor M.D.

Recurring Characters: Brad Pitt.


Bruno Mars performs "Young Girls"


Donkey Punch The Ballot!
Summary: DJ Supersoak (Jason Sudeikis) and Lil' Blaster (Nasim Pedrad) promote the Election Day festival that features wild bands and a Fake Hawaiian ID booth.

Recurring Characters: DJ Super Soak, Lil Blaster, MC George Castanza, Ass Dan, Ruth Bader Ginsburg.

Transcript


Goodnights
Transcript






Dress Rehearsal Cuts




SNL Transcripts