Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 38: Episode 5

12e: Bruno Mars

Chanel No. 5

Brad Pitt.....Taran Killam

[ card: "Brad Pitt. Pour. Chanel." ]

[ cut to Brad Pitt, in black-and-white ]

Brad Pitt: It's not a journey. Every journey ends, but we go on. The world turns, and we turn with it. Plans disappear, and dreams take over. And then dreams wake up and smile at realty... [ he shakes his head ] I'm sorry, is there really no script? 'Cause I've been talking to myself for, like, two hours straight and I'm starting to sound insane. [ he glances off-screen ] What? You want me to sound less coherent? Really? [ he slaps his side ] Okay, uh... I can just start making up words. You like that? Alright. [ he sighs ] "Splindiferous." Yeah? [ he thinks ] "Magnificous." "Pintalicious." Okay, okay, I'm sorry -- is it just me, or do I look SUPER homeless? That's what you want? Rock and roll!

[ dissolve to product, in color ]

Brad Pitt V/O: Chanel No. 5.

[ return to Brad Pitt, in black-and-white ]

Brad Pitt: You'd understand it, buh!

[ fade ]

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