Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 38: Episode 6

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Air Date:


Musical Guest:

Special Guests:


Bit Players:

November 3rd, 2012

Louis C.K.





Press Conference
Summary: Following the aftermath of Hurricane Sandy, New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg (Fred Armisen) and New Jersey Governor Chris Christie (Bobby Moynihan) give a status report as their sign-language interpretors (Cecily Strong, Nasim Pedrad) provide wild, overexaggerated hand gestures.

Recurring Characters: Mike Bloomberg, Chris Christie.



Louis C.K.'s Monologue
Summary: Louis C.K. performs stand-up about an old lady he helped out at the airport.


Fox and Friends
Summary: Steve Doocy (Taran Killam), Gretchen Carlson (Vanessa Bayer) and Brian Kilmeade (Bobby Moynihan) offer clumsy hurricane safety tips and chat with a FEMA worker (Louis C.K.).

Recurring Characters: Steve Doocy, Gretchen Carlson, Brian Kilmeade, Donald Trump.


Summary: In a parody of Louis C.K.'s sitcom, Abraham Lincoln (Louis C.K.) performs stand-up routines based on his daily observations as the President of the United States.


Australian Screen Legends
Summary: A series of film clips documents the career of Tedd DAvies (Kate McKinnon) and Graham Dixon (Bill Hader), until Dixon breaks out to co-star exclusively with John Chisolm (Louis C.K.).

Fun. performs "Some Nights"

Weekend Update with Seth Meyers
Summary: Mitt Romney (Jason Sudeikis) makes his final argument to voters. Social Media expert Kourtney Barnes (Aidy Bryant) discusses online reaction to the Presidential election. The Girl You Wish You Hadn't Started A Conversation With At A Party (Cecily Strong) attempts to discuss the Presidential election and Hurricane Sandy.

Recurring Characters: Mitt Romney, The Girl You Wish You Hadn't Started A Conversation With At A Party.

Mountain Pass
Summary: Tylor (Louis C.K.) disturbs mountain dwellers while blowing a horn as a signal for Zord (Fred Armisen).

Hotel Fees
Summary: Businessman (Bobby Moynihan) is anxious to check out of his hotel as the Clerk (Louis C.K.) itemizes every last detail of his bill.


Fun. performs "Carry On"

Last Call
Summary: Drunken Dan Pants (Louis C.K.) and Sheila Sovage (Kate McKinnon) hit if off after they're the last singles left in the bar at closing time.

Recurring Characters: Sheila Sovage.



Dress Rehearsal Cuts

A Message from the President of the United States
Summary: President Barack Obama (Jay Pharoah) attempts to politicize Hurricane Sandy in order to win votes in Ohio.

Recurring Characters: President Barack Obama.

The Voice
Summary: The celebrity judges are overenthusiastic for a contestant (Louis C.K.) who barely wants to be there.

Recurring Characters: Carson Daly, Shakira, Cee Lo Green.

Note: This sketch would air later in the season in the episode hosted by Melissa McCarthy.

Roundball Rock
Summary: At a 1990 meeting with NBC Sports, John Tesh (Jason Sudeikis) and his brother Dave (Tim Robinson) perform "Roundball Rock" with unnecessarily loud lyrics.

Note: This sketch would air later in the season in the episode hosted by Vince Vaughn.

The Drawing Show
Summary: Children's host (Louis C.K.) lashes out at the kids in his audience who don't appreciate his inept drawing skills.

Cologne Killer
Summary: Cologne pitchman (Louis C.K.) is actually a serial killer and a master of disguises.

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