Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 38: Episode 12


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Air Date:

Host:

Musical Guest:

Special Guests:

Cameos:


January 26th, 2013

Adam Levine

Kendrick Lamar

None

Andy Samberg

Cameron Diaz

Jerry Seinfeld

Akiva Schaffer

Jorma Taccone

Danny McBride

Mickey Madden

Inauguration Night
Summary: In the hours following his re-election Inauguration, President Barack Obama (Jay Pharoah) is ivisted by the Ghost of Martin Luther King, Jr. (Kenan Thompson).

Recurring Characters: President Barack Obama, Martin Luther King, Jr.

Transcript


Montage


Adam Levine's Monologue
Summary: Because he comes from a musical background and hasn't really acted, Adam Levine receives "Voice"-style coaching from Andy Samberg, Cameron Diaz, and Jerry Seinfeld.

Transcript


Rosetta Stone
Summary: The online language-learning course for creepy middle-aged men (Bill Hader, Bobby Moynihan, Taran Killam) who desire to travel to Thailand in search of loose Oriental women.


Circle Work
Summary: Tracy Allstar (Kenan Thompson) and Todd Anthony (Adam Levine) offer gay solutions to the problems offered by their heterosexual guests.


The Sopranos Diaries
Summary: Taking a cue from the new "Sex in the City" prequel series, Tony Soprano (Bobby Moynihan) and his fellow goombahs rule the halls of their high school in the 1980's.


Firehouse Incident
Summary: Brice (Bill Hader) goes berserk when he spots fellow firefighter Jerry (Adam Levine) chatting with his ex-girlfriend Rula (Nasim Pedrad) at a firehouse fundraiser.

Transcript


An SNL Digital Short
Summary: Adam Levine and The Lonely Island sing "YOLO", as demonstration of the strange things they're willing to do in order to prove that "You Only Live Once".


Kendrick Lamar performs "Swimming Pools"


Weekend Update with Seth Meyers
Summary: Arianna Huffington (Nasim Pedrad) comments on Hillary Clinton and other women in politics. Ready-to-retire Ray Lewis (Kenan Thompson) rambles about his final game in this year's Super Bowl.

Recurring Characters: Arianna Huffington, Ray Lewis.


Rumble
Summary: Adam Levine organizes a bar rumble against fellow mellow musicians Train (Taran Killam), Jason Mraz (Jason Sudeikis) and John Mayer (Bill Hader).

Recurring Characters: John Mayer, Jason Mraz, Darius Rucker.


Catfish: The TV Show
Summary: Yaniv "Nev" Schulman (Adam Levine) helps Jaz (Aidy Bryant) determine whether or not her online boyfriend (Jay Pharoah) is the real deal.


Kendrick Lamar performs "Poetic Justice"


Adam and Janet
Summary: Janet Peckinpaugh (Bobby Moynihan) is ready for a night of sweet romance with Adam Levine in her Murphy bed.

Recurring Characters: Janet Peckinpaugh.


Biden Bash
Summary: Forget the boring pageantry of Barack Obama's inauguration -- the real party is taking place in Delaware with Joe Biden (Jason Sudeikis), a Neil Diamond impersonator contestant (Adam Levine), and a bouncy castle.

Recurring Characters: Joseph Biden.


Goodnights
Transcript






Dress Rehearsal Cuts




SNL Transcripts