Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 38: Episode 15












12o: Kevin Hart / Macklemore and Ryan Lewis

Z Shirts

Cal.....Tim Robinson
Brian......Kevin Hart

[ open on Brian and Cal playing basketball ]

Cal: Nice dunk!

Brian: Thanks, man! Hey -- great T-shirt!

Cal: Ohhhh! This ain't a T-Shirt! It's a Z-Shirt!

[ cut to product image ]

Announcer: It's the new Z-Shirt! The cool new shirts from Zappy! This ain't no T-shirt -- it's the Z Shirt!

Kids: Z SHIRT!!

Brian: Oh! Wait! I'm confused! Is that an A Shirt?

Cal: Um -- ab-so-lute-ly notttt!

Brian: [ laughung ] Is it a B Shirt?!

Cal: Not even close!

Brian: Is is a C Shirt?!

Cal: Wait! Did you say Z Shirt?

Brian: No! I said C Shirt!

Cal: No, it's a T-shirt!

Brian: Is it a D Shirt?!

Cal: No, man...

Brian: IS IT AN E SHIRT?!

Cal: Why are you going in order? You don't have to go in order!

Brian: IS IT AN F SHIRT?!

Cal: No! It's a Z Shirt.

Brian: IS IT A G SHIRT?!

Cal: NO!! And it's not an H, I, J, K! It's NONE of those shirts!

Brian: IS IT AN H SHIRT?!

Cal: [ gritting his teeth ] Why do we have to do ALL of them?! I don't see what you're getting at...!

Brian: IS IT AN I SHIRT?!

Cal: You're DEAD behind those eyes! There's nothing behind them!

Brian: IS IT A J SHIRT?!

Cal: Brian... Brian...

Brian: IS IT A K SHIRT?!

Cal: [ outraged ] I WISH!! [ he points to the Z on his shirt ] If this thing was a K right here, we'd be DONE!!

Brian: IS IT AN L SHIRT?!

[ Cal simply walks away ]

Brian: What kind of shirt IS it, man?! IS IT AN M SHIRT?!

Cal: NO!!!

[ Brian runs after Cal ]

[ cut to product image ]

Announcer: The Z Shirt! New from Zappy!

Brian: So many letters!

[ fade ]


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