Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 38: Episode 18


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Air Date:

Host:

Musical Guest:

Special Guests:

Cameos:

Bit Players:

Guest Writer:


April 13th, 2013

Vince Vaughn

Miguel

None

Steve Jones

None

Monica Padrick

A Message from the President of the United States
Summary: In discussing his gun control legislation, President Barack Obama (Jay Pharoah) allows Senator Joe Manchin (Jason Sudeikis) and Senator Patrick Toomey (Bill Hader) to outline some of the zanier clauses on the bill's bipartisan agreement.

Recurring Characters: President Barack Obama.

Transcript


Montage


Vince Vaughn's Monologue
Summary: Because the audience is who matters most during a live "SNL" performance, Vince Vaughn mingles among them to help them maintain their focus and ensure the show goes well.

Transcript


The Al Pacino Accused Murderer Biopic Series
Summary: Al Pacino (Bill Hader) dons different wigs in order to portray famous accused murderers in a series of televised biopics.

Transcript


Stormy Skies
Summary: The new original soap opera on The Wesher Channel features an extramarital affair alongside a three-day forecast.

Recurring Characters: Al Roker.


History of Punk
Summary: Documentary footage details the political leanings of punk rocker Ian Rubbish (Fred Armisen), a staunch anarchist except where the life of Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher was concerned.


Short Term Memory Loss Theater
Summary: (Bill Hader) joins in a performance of "Howl of the Landlord" with the Short Term Memory Loss Players.


Miguel performs "Adorn"


Weekend Update with Seth Meyers
Summary: Brad Paisley (Jason Sudeikis) and L.L. Cool J (Kenan Thompson) comment on the unusual backstory of their new rap-country hybrid "Accidental Racist". Marina Chapman (Kate McKinnon) relates her story of being raised by monkeys.


Junior Prom
Summary: Rich Man From the Hill (Vince Vaughn) donates money for North Side Junior High School's prom, then comes down to help liven up the festivities.


Roundball Rock
Summary: At a 1990 meeting with NBC Sports, John Tesh (Jason Sudeikis) and his brother Dave (Tim Robinson) perform "Roundball Rock" with unnecessarily loud lyrics.

Note: This sketch was cut from the dress rehearsal of the episode hosted by Louis C.K. earlier in the season.

Transcript


Miguel performs "How Many Drinks"


Last Call II
Summary: Drunken (Vince Vaughn) and Sheila Sovage (Kate McKinnon) hit if off after they're the last singles left in the bar at closing time.

Recurring Characters: Sheila Sovage.


Goodnights
Transcript






Dress Rehearsal Cuts

Summary:



SNL Transcripts