Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 38: Episode 19
















12s: Zach Galifianakis / Of Monsters and Men

Darrell's House

Darrell Sparks.....Zach Galifianakis
.....Jon Hamm

[ open on Knoxville Cable Access card ]

[ dissolve to Darrell's head bouncing around on blue screen ]

Jingle: "It's the...
first time...
Darrell's having people over to his house."

Darrell V/O: "Hoo-ray!!"

[ dissolve to Darrell standing in his living room ]

Darrell: ...Hello!

[ jump cut ]

Darrell: ...Let me tell you a little bit about myself: I'm Darrell Sparks, and I love to enter--

Wife V/O: What are --

Darrell: --TAIN!! So what do I consider the three keys of entertaining? 1. Great snacks!

[ cut to an empty snack tray ]

[ jump cut to snacks now on the tray ]

Darrell: The second key? Good music! That's why I'm playing...

Darrell V/O: [ as his lips move on-screen ] Al... Jolsen.

[ Al Jolsen music begins to play ]

Darrell: That sounds GREAT!! And last, but not least, great guests!

[ jump cut as a doorbell rings ]

Darrell: I think one is here right now!

[ Darrell walks over to the front door and opens it ]

Darrell: Mr. Jon Hamm!

[ jump cut as the door opens and Jon Hamm steps in ]

Jon Hamm: How youdoing, Darrell?

Darrell: Thanks for coming! [ split-screen on Darrell shaking his friends hand, with Jon Hamm in the pother frame ] You look AMAZING, Jon! What's your secret?

[ cut to close-up of Jon Hamm ]

Jon Hamm: If I told you... it wouldn't be a secret!

Darrell: [ he laughs ridiculously over-the-top ] Oh, Jon! Care for some snacks?

[ the two camera angles follow Darrell and Jon Hamm to thesnack area ]

[ cut to Jon Hamm putting a snack in his mouth ]

Jon Hamm: Excellent!

Darrell: [ with his Friend's arm still in the shot ] Why, thank you, Jon! I made them myself!

Jon Hamm: They're great!

Darrell: You look so happy, Jon, which is surprising -- I always heard you were a MAD man!

[ cut to full-frame video footage of the "Showtime at the Apollo" audience whooping it up ]

Darrell: [ with his Friend still in the shot ] Thanks for stopping by, Jon!

[ jump cut to Jon Hamm, with Darrell checking his phone in the background ]

Jon Hamm: Thanks for having me!

[ Jon Hamm exits ]

Darrell: Well... For the first time I had someone to my house, THAT was a success!

[ close-up of Darrell blinking, with a CGI of his right eye still open ]

[ jump cut to a freeze-frame of Darrell with the credits scrolling over him ]

[ cut back to Darrell's head bouncing around on blue screen ]

Jingle: "It's the...
first time...
Darrell's having people over to his house."

Darrell V/O: "Hoo-ray!!"

[ fade ]


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