Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 39: Episode 6


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Air Date:

Host:

Musical Guest:

Special Guests:

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November 16th 2013

Lady Gaga

Lady Gaga

None

R. Kelly

None

CBC News Toronto
Summary: Canadian Governor Rob Ford (Bobby Moynihan) repeatedly apologizes for his credibility bungles.

Transcript


Montage


Lady Gaga's Monologue
Summary: Attention-starved Lady Gaga parodies herself by singing "Cheap Applause".


Paxil Second Term Strength
Summary: The anti-depressent that helps President Barack Obama (Jay Pharoah) cope with the scandals and calamaties of his second term in office.

Recurring Characters: President Barack Obama, John Boehner.


Waking up with Kimye
Summary: Hosting their own morning talk show, Kanye West (Jay Pharoah) and Kim Kardashian (Nasim Pedrad) gab with an Apple technician (Lady Gaga) passing herself off as a genius.

Recurring Characters: Kanye West, Kim Kardashian, Khloe Kardashian, Kim Jenner.


Whaaat? Cover Songs
Summary: Adam Duritz (Taran Killam) promotes a compilation album of the worst cover songs of all time.

Recurring Characters: Adam Duritz, Nathan Lane, Susan Boyle, Lil Wayne, Britney Spears, Lana Del Ray.


Lady Gaga with R. Kelly performs "Do What U Want"


Weekend Update with Seth Meyers & Cecily Strong
Summary: Cranky Mr. Senior (Kenan Thompson) insists that people wait for Thanksgiving to end before getting in the Christmas mood. Speech critic Jebidiah Atkinson (Taran Killam) refuses to retract his 1963 criticism of Abraham Lincoln, and has a few choice words about other political figures since.

Transcript


Co-Op Board
Summary: Hoping to move into a new apartment, a married couple (Beck Bennett, Vanessa Bayer) must endure personal questions from the building's eccentric co-op members.

Transcript


Spotlightz Camp For Serious Child Actors
Summary: Laura Parsons (Vanessa Bayer) and other child actors perform scenes from Academy Award-winning films.

Recurring Characters: Laura Parsons.


Blockbuster
Summary: A group of Blockbuster employees mourn the closing of their store and stumble upon a makeshift island paradise filled with other former employees.


Lady Gaga performs "Gypsy"


Fourth Grade Pageant
Summary: Enthusiastic parents (John Milhiser, Lady Gaga) encourage their daughter's fourth grade performance by gyrating the dance moves from within the audience.


2065
Summary: In the year 2065, an elderly Lady Gaga struggles to maintain relevancy in a world that has passed her by.


Rose Zone
Summary: Highlights of talk and reality shows are front and center for female viewers who only want to watch the good stuff.


Goodnights
Transcript






Dress Rehearsal Cuts




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