Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 40: Episode 2
October 4th, 2014
: Steve Kroft (Beck Bennett) grills President Barack Obama (Jay Pharoah) about White House Secret Service gaffes.
: President Barack Obama.
Sarah Silverman's Monologue
: Sarah Silverman seeks praise from a female audience member before taking questions from her younger self in the audience.
The Fault in Our Stars 2
: Cancer teen Theodore (Taran Killam) is repulsed to discover he's entered a relationship with Ebola teen Olive (Sarah Silverman).
: Joan Rivers (Sarah Silverman) arrives in Heaven and begins to roast other celebrities.
: Joan Rivers, Benjamin Franklin, Steve Jobs.
: White dominance won't last much longer, so let's all enjoy it while we still can!
Forgotten TV Gems
: A look back at an unsuccessful daytime soap opera that portrayed women as friendly toward one another instead of catty and bitchy.
Maroon 5 performs "Animals"
Weekend Update with Colin Jost & Michael Che
: Al Sharpton (Kenan Thompson). Colin Jost checks with Michael Che to see which black words he can get away with using as a white man. Garage (Kate McKinnon) & Her (Sarah Silverman).
: Al Sharpton.
: A trio of Tina Turner impersonators (Sasheer Zamata, Cecily Strong, Sarah Silverman) lament their lives as they perform "Proud Mary".
: Girl's (Sarah Silverman) confession of overseas infidelity leads to unanounced family turmoil during the ride home from the airport.
: After (Kyle Mooney) discovers he shares a common interest with Ashley (Sarah Silverman), he's beat up by her jealous boyfriend (Beck Bennett).
Maroon 5 performs "Maps"
: In an infomercial, (Vanessa Bayer) touts the overpriced blender that her friend (Sarah Silverman) can't afford.
Dress Rehearsal Cuts