Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 1: Episode 2

75b: Paul Simon / Art Garfunkel, Randy Newman, Phoebe Snow, Jesse Dixon Singers

Up Against the Wallpaper

Written by: Michael O'Donoghue

... Jerry Rubin

[We hear Bob Dylan's "Blowin' in the Wind" as a bearded Jerry Rubin steps in front of a wall covered with grafitti-patterned wallpaper and addresses the camera.]

Jerry Rubin: The 1960s, a time of change, a time of sharing, a time of growth. Hi, I'm former Yippie leader Jerry Rubin and I lived those years with you, burning draft cards, liberating the administration building, and, of course, scrawling revolutionary slogans on the walls in spray paint. Now, the Berkeley Collection has captured those colorful years, and the grafitti that tells it like it was, on these pre-trimmed, pre-pasted rolls of durable decorator-approved wallpaper, perfect for your den or recreation area. Join me in a protest march down Memory Lane with the pattern we call "The Dissident."

[Rubin unrolls some wallpaper as we hear a protest chant ("The streets belong to the people! Smash the state!" etc.) and dissolve to an image of the pattern: yellow grafitti on a red brick wall. Panning down, we read such slogans as: AVENGE ATTICA; SMASH THE STATE; Property is Theft; Hands Off Tim Leary; The streets belong to the people; WHITE PANTHERS; BRING THE BOYS HOME! (with BOYS crossed out and replaced by WAR); VIVA LA HUELGA!; BLACK POWER; BURN BABY BURN; STOP THE TRIAL!; LEGALIZE ABORTION; Rome wasn't destroyed in a day; S.D.S.; ON TO CHICAGO; OFF THE PIG!; STRIKE!; SUPPORT THE NLF; THE-RIGHT-TOO-BEAR-ARMS; DAYS OF RAGE Oct 8-11; DEATH TO U.S. IMPERIALIST WARMONGERS, etc. Then, we dissolve back to Jerry Rubin.]

Jerry Rubin: Too heavy for you? I understand. Perhaps "The Peacemaker" is more your bag.

[Rubin unrolls another, mellower pattern of wallpaper as we hear people singing John Lennon's "Give Peace a Chance" and dissolve to an image of the pattern: orange paint on a green background. Panning down, we read such slogans as: Stop the Bombing; SNOOPY FOR PRESIDENT; Stamp Out Pollution!; THE MAN CAN'T BUST OUR MUSIC; BOYCOTT LETTUCE; HELL NO, WE WON'T GO; BURN POT, NOT PEOPLE; FLOWER POWER; END THE WAR; RIGHT ON!; GIRLS SAY YES TO BOYS WHO SAY NO; POWER TO THE PEOPLE; VOTE WITH YOUR FEET; PEACE; GET OUT OF VIETNAM!; FRODO LIVES; DO YOUR OWN THING; change it or lose it; SPEED KILLS; HELL, NO, WE WON'T GO!; IRISH POWER; TODAY IS THE FIRST DAY OF THE REST OF YOUR LIFE; DRAFT BEER, NOT STUDENTS; VOTE FOR PEACE; SOCK IT TO ME!; PEANUT BUTTER IS BETTER THAN POT; MAKE LOVE, NOT WAR; GIVE PEACE A CHANCE, etc. Then, we dissolve back to Jerry Rubin.]

Jerry Rubin: But no matter where your head is at, being free turns everyone on, right? That's why we chose this fit-any-mood freedom motif for our borders and trim. We call it "The Digger."

[Rubin unrolls another, still mellower pattern of wallpaper as we hear an instrumental version "Born Free" and dissolve to an image of the pattern: puce on a pink background. Panning across, we read such slogans as: free Huey!; FREE FORT DIX 38; FREE ERIKA HUGGINS; FREE THE CATONSVILLE 9; FREE JOHN SINCLAIR; FREE THE BOSTON FIVE; free the seattle 7!; FREE David Hilliard; FREE THE PANTHERS!; FREE BOBBY SEALE; FREE LOVE; FREE ANGELA DAVIS; FREE THE MC 9; free the milwaukee 14; FREE THE CHICAGO 8 (with 8 crossed out and replaced by 7); FREE THE SEATTLE SEVEN, etc.

[Abruptly, some yellow paint splatters across the image.]

Jerry Rubin: Oops! No hassle! [A hand, clutching a white rag reaches in and wipes off the mess easily.] This wallpaper is vinyl-acrylic-coated to make it scuff and stain resistant. Wipes clean with a damp cloth. [Dissolve back to Jerry Rubin] Isn't this out of sight? So take it from me, Jerry Rubin, when I say, [raises his fist in a power salute] "Up against the wallpaper, [bleep]!"

Female Announcer: The Berkeley Collection by Chemstro.

Submitted Anonymously

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