Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 1: Episode 5

75e: Robert Klein / ABBA

Gregg Allman’s Love Life

Gregg Allman.....Chevy Chase
Voice.....Lorne Michaels

[FADE IN on Allman wearing a feminine-looking long blonde wig, light brown sunglasses, and an unbuttoned blue work shirt. He noodles on a piano while two musicians sit behind music stands in the background.]

Voice: Hey, hotshot rock star Gregg Allman: how’s your love life?

Gregg: [quits playing and grins] Hey, great! [in a spaced-out voice] I got a new album comin’ out, lots of bread, lots of groupies, great band, new keyboards, uh, it’s really great, really great.

Voice: I said, Gregg Allman: how’s your LOVE life?

Gregg: [after a silent pause] Uh, it’s very good, I, uh, I got new keyboards, uh, new album, a lot of bread comin’ in, uhhhhhhh... uh, groupies, groupies everywhere, uh, it’s comin’ in, ehhhhhhh--

Voice: Gregg Allman: how’s your LOVE life?

Gregg: [hits a random note on the piano] It’s pretty good, uhhhhhhh... new album comin’ out, lookin’ real good, hey, groupies all--I know, money comin’ in all the time, and, uh, it’s lookin’, it’s lookin’ pretty fine, you know--

Voice: Gregg Allman, I said: HOW’S your LOVE life?

Gregg: [looking uncomfortable] It’s not bad, uh, Cher and I, uh, we split up, but, uh, that one’s far out, uh, groupie chicks, no bread, and, um, uh... [voice catches] You know...

Voice: Gregg Allman: how’s your LOVE life?

Gregg: [looking lost] It’s, uh... toilet.

[His head drops straight down on his keyboard and hits several notes when it lands. HOLD on his motionless blonde wig for a long moment as audience applauds.]

Submitted by: Sean

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