Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 1: Episode 5





75e: Robert Klein / ABBA

Bee Centennial Minute

Bee.....Garrett Morris

[FADE IN on a large painting of Washington crossing the Delaware as a drum march plays in the background. SUPERIMPOSE, “Bee Centennial Minute,” then PAN over to Garrett Morris dressed as a Bee with what looks like a white ascot tied in a bow around his neck and a Revolutionary War soldier’s cap on his head.]

Bee: Hello. [over fife music] Two... two hundred years ago today, a bee named Henry left his hive early in the morning, flew a good two or three miles, looking for a nice quiet clearing somewhere, became totally disoriented, and ultimately lost. In his confusion, he found himself flying through the actual tent of General George Washington on the battlefield. Exhausted, the bee searched for a place to rest his weary wings and get his bearings. Before long, he alighted on the wooden butt of a musket which was left lying lengthwise on a makeshift cot in the back of the tent. A battle-fatigued soldier, one of General Washington’s personal guards, entered the tent seconds later and, seeing that the general was away for a moment, threw himself down on the cot for a brief nap. Not having noticed the musket, he badly bruised his hip on the firing mechanism and crushed the bee. And that’s the way it was 200 years ago today.

[FADE to a slide of red and white curved stripes with the caption, “Bee Centennial Minute” and an outline of the Liberty Bell. FADE to black over applause.]


Submitted by: Sean


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