Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 1: Episode 6

75f: Lily Tomlin

Beetoven II

Beethoven.....John Belushi
Beethoven's Wife.....Gilda Radner
Frieda.....Laraine Newman

[Open on Beethoven playing piano. His wife and another woman, Frieda, enter.]

Beethoven's Wife: Look, Frieda, he hasn't even touched his food. [Leans in in an attempt to get her husband's attention] Liebchen, you must be careful. You must eat. YOU MUST EAT! [Taps Beethoven on the cheek]

Beethoven: [Stops playing and turns to wife] Good morning! Nice to see you! [Resumes playing]

Frieda: All he asks for is his snuff box.

Beethoven's Wife: It's raining outside, and he doesn't even know it. [She and Frieda put their hands to their cheeks] Oh! [Both exit]

[Beethoven plays the opening four notes to his Fifth Symphony, shakes his head and gradually changes the notes until they become the opening to The Temptations' "My Girl"]

Beethoven: [singing]
"I got sunshine
On a cloudy day.
When it's cold outside,
I got the month of May.

I guess you'll say
What can make me feel this way?
Fräulein, fräulein..."

[Applause and fade as he continues]

Submitted by: John Ravetti

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