Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 1: Episode 6





75f: Lily Tomlin

Beetoven III

Beethoven.....John Belushi
Beethoven's Wife.....Gilda Radner
Frieda.....Laraine Newman

[Open on Beethoven playing piano. His wife and Frieda enter.]

Beethoven's Wife: Look at him, Frieda. He hasn't touched his food.

Frieda: Oh, he hasn't eaten in weeks. He has no appetite.

Beethoven's Wife: Ludwig? Ludwig! Dumbkopf! [Pushes Beethoven's head to get his attention]

Beethoven: [Stops playing and turns to wife] Good morning! Nice to see you two!

Beethoven's Wife: [Grasps Beethoven's chin] Call if you need me. [She and Frieda turn to each other] Ugh! [Both exit]

[Beethoven pauses and takes two hits from his snuff box]

Beethoven: Ah-choo.

[He puts on a pair of sunglasses and plays Ray Charles' "What'd I Say?", singing and swaying like Charles]

Beethoven: [singing]
"Oh, mama, don't you treat me wrong
Come and love your daddy all night long
Hey hey, what'd I say?
What'd I say now? Hey baby, what'd I say?"

[Wife and Frieda run in]

Beethoven's Wife: What'd you say? [She and Frieda join Beethoven in singing]

Beethoven:
"I said Hey! (Hey?)
Ho! (Ho?)
Hey (Hey?), Ho (Ho?)
Hey (Hey?), Ho (Ho?)

Baby, it's all right (Baby, it's all right)
Baby, it's all right (Baby, it's all right)
Baby, it's all right (Baby, it's all right)
Baby, it's all right (Baby, it's all right)
Yeah, it's all right. Baby, what'd I say? (Ahhh, baby, it's all right)

Tell your mama, tell your pa
Gonna send you back to Arkansas
Hey hey (Bop-shoo-bop, bop-bop-shoo-bop)
What'd I say? (Bop-shoo-bop, bop-bop-shoo-bop)
What'd I say now? Hey baby, what'd I say? (ahhh, baby, what'd I say?)"

[Applause and fade]


Submitted by: John Ravetti


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