Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 1: Episode 8
Season 1: Order Now!
A Film By:
December 20th, 1975
Christmas Eve at the White House
Summary: President Gerald R. Ford (Chevy Chase) delivers a fireside chat, trims the Christmas tree and takes a fall.
Recurring Characters: President Gerald Ford.
Candice Bergen's Monologue
Summary: Candace Bergen has decided to host "SNL" again as a Christmas present to herself.
Also Hosted: 75d, 75j, 87e, 89t.
Martha Reeves performs "Higher & Higher"
Bio: Martha Reeves (1941-) was the former lead singer of The Vandellas during the 60's.
Mel's Char Palace
Summary: Mel (Dan Aykroyd) lets you cut the cows into your own steak.
Recurring Characters: Mel.
Billy's Call Home
Summary: Billy (Chevy Chase) calls his parents to say he's guilty of 26 counts of murder.
Summary: Candice Bergen invites viewers to send in their home movies for free.
Summary: In an SNL home film, Candice Bergen and The Bees ice skate outside of 30 Rockefeller Plaza.
Recurring Characters: Bees.
Don Pardo's Digital Gift Catalog
Summary: This segment's selection is a digital clock.
The Stylistics perform "You Make Me Feel Brand New"
Bio: The Stylistics are James Dunn, Airrion Love, Herb Murrell, James Smith, and Russell Thompkins, Jr. The soul quintent had 12 straight Top Ten hits in the early 70's.
K-Put Price-Is-Rite Stamp Gun
Summary: Save thousands of dollars on groceries with this new device, which allows you to change the prices at the supermarket.
Note: Repeat from 11/15/75.
Summary: A woman (Candice Bergen) learns that her brother (Chevy Chase) is an elf.
Weekend Update with Chevy Chase
Summary: Laraine Newman reports on the celebration in Times Square eleven days before New Year's. A wrong number leads Chevy Chase to Angelo's Pizza instead of Angola Prison. Emily Litella (Gilda Radner) gives an editorial response to say that she's against "firing" the handicapped. Garrett Morris again repeats the top story for the hard-of-hearing.
Recurring Characters: Emily Litella.
Summary: The cleansing agent Princess Grace (Candice Bergen) uses to sparkle her jewels.
Summary: Sparks fly between a man (John Belushi) and a woman (Gilda Radner) when they combine their clothes and share a washing machine.
Summary: Al Franken deduces that self-proclaimed "Pinball Wizard" Tom Davis fares poorly at Pong.
Summary: King Ploobis' Christmas party is a bust until Candice Bergen arrives and sings "Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas" with him and Scred.
Mel's Char Palace II
Summary: Mel (Dan Aykroyd) & Mrs. Mel (Gilda Radner) advertise again.
Recurring Characters: Mel, Mrs. Mel.
Candice Bergen and the cast perform "Winter Wonderland"
Don Pardo's Digital Gift Catalog II
Summary: Another selection from the Don Pardo line of digital gifts.
Summary: Mike Mendoza (Dan Aykroyd) fails to suspect a sexy woman (Candice Bergen) of this week's crime.
Recurring Characters: Mike Mendoza.
Don Pardo's Digital Gift Catalog III
Summary: Yet another selection from the Don Pardo line of digital gifts.
Martha Reeves performs "Silver Bells"
What Gilda Ate
Summary: Gilda Radner relays last Christmas' strange appetite cravings.
The Fritzie Kringle Show
Summary: Fritzie Kringle (Laraine Newman) eats her ingredients prematurely.
Mel's Char Palace III
Summary: A final ad for Mel's Char Palace.
Recurring Characters: Mel.
Summary: Margaret Kuhn says "getting old is nothing to be afraid of."
Bio: Margaret Kuhn (1905-95) actively fought for the rights of the elderly after she was forced to retire in 1970 at the age of 65. She founded the Gray Panthers in Philadelphia in 1971, and was given the Humanist of the Year award in 1978.
Summary: Gary Weis film uses Simon & Garfunkel soundtrack to show travelers coming home to their families at Christmas.
Bio: A regular contributor of short films on "Saturday Night Live" during its first three seasons, Gary Weis also produced and directed the 1978 Rutles film "All You Need Is Cash."