Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 1: Episode 10

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Air Date:


Musical Guest:

Special Guests:


Bit Players:

January 17th, 1976

Buck Henry

Bill Withers

Toni Basil

The Blues Brothers

The Muppets

Michael O'Donoghue


Alan Zweibel

Tom Schiller

Anne Beatts

Tom Davis

Al Franken

Neil Levy

Season 1: Order Now!

Suicide Hotline
Summary: Suicide operator (Chevy Chase) fails to save caller's life and falls to the floor after stepping out of the room for a minute.



Buck Henry's Monologue
Summary: After admitting that he wasn't the first choice to host this week's show, a list of other people asked to host scrolls over Buck Henry's speech.

Bio: Buck Henry (1930-) hosted "Saturday Night Live" ten times during its glory days, the most of any host during that time span. Henry created the series "Get Smart" with Mel Brooks in the 60's, and scripted popular films such as "The Graduate" and "What's Up, Doc?" He later wrote and starred in the short-lived "The New Show", produced by Lorne Michaels in 1984.


Samurai Delicatessen
Summary: Mr. Dantley (Henry) orders a sandwich from Futaba (John Belushi).

Recurring Characters: Futaba, Mr. Dantley.


Presidential Foreplay
Summary: Jane Curtin interviews Linda Louise (Gilda Radner), the latest woman who claims to have had an affair with President John F. Kennedy while he was in office.


Operation: Stumblebum
Summary: President Gerald R. Ford (Chevy Chase) takes a meeting with one of his advisors (Buck Henry). To distract from his clumsy behavior during speeches, Secret Service agents will join him on his falls to the floor.

Note: The Oval Office uses the same set as "Suicide Hotline."


Bill Withers performs "Ain't No Sunshine"
Bio: Bill Withers (1938-) pursued a musical career in 1967, after a nine-year stint in the Navy. He recorded demos while making toilet seats for the Boeing aircraft company.

Evelyn Woodski Speed Reader School
Summary: Evelyn Woodski (Laraine Newman) can read fast, but not very well.


Weekend Update with Chevy Chase
Summary: Midnight call leads Chevy Chase to Angola janitor at 6 AM. Chevy makes faces during Henry Zuckerman's (Buck Henry) anti-masturbation editorial. Chevy repeats the top story for deceased viewers.


Germasol Air Freshener
Summary: the oversized air freshener is perfect for covering old dinner smells in a woman's (Gilda Radner) apartment.


Citizen Kane II
Summary: In odd sequel, Mr. Thompson (Buck Henry) learns of Charles Foster Kane's (Dan Aykroyd) other last words.


The Muppets
Summary: Scred and Peuta try to operate their new sex toy from Japan.


Summary: The three-blade razor is designed for people who'll believe anything they see.

Note: Repeat from 10/11/75.

Toni Basil performs "Wham Re-Bop Boom Bam"
Bio: Toni Basil's primary occupation in the world of entertainment has been as a choreographer. She also formed the urban-style dance troupe, the Lockers, and made appearances in films like "Easy Rider." Basil is best-remembered for her 80's one-hit wonder, "Mickey."

Auto Mechanic Bedtime Story
Summary: An auto machanic (Dan Aykroyd) tells his daughter (Gilda Radner) car-related bedtime stories.

Note: Uses the same set as "Suicide Hotline" and the Oval Office from "Operation: Stumblebum."


Why Drugs Are Called "Dope"
Summary: A drug user (Chevy Chase) demonstrates why drugs are referred to as "dope" when he misuses a joint.


Gary Weis Film
Buck Henry takes to the streets of Irvington, New York to find the town's funniest person.

"King Bee"
Summary: Blues Brothers Jake (John Belushi) & Elwood (Dan Aykroyd) perform "King Bee" with SNL Band.

Recurring Characters: Jake Blues, Elwood Blues.


Mike Douglas Impression
Summary: Mr. Mike (Michael O'Donoghue) does an impression of Mike Douglas with needles in his eyes.


Wrigley's Gum
Summary: The gum good enough to be enjoyed by the deceased.

Note: Repeat from 10/25/75.

American Constipation Society
Summary: Fred (Buck Henry) feels uncomfortable when his neighbors joke about his constipation problem.

Note: Uses the same set as "Suicide Hotline", "Auto Mechanic Bedtime Story" and the Oval Office from "Operation: Stumblebum."



SNL Transcripts