Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 1: Episode 10

75j: Buck Henry / Bill Withers, Toni Basil, The Blues Brothers

Mike Douglas Impression

Written by: Michael O'Donoghue

...Buck Henry
Mr. Mike...Michael O'Donoghue

[Open on Buck Henry at home base, standing in front of a red curtain]

Buck Henry: Well, we've all seen a lot of impressionists in our lives. Some good, not so good, some fair. But I saw a guy the other night in a club downtown that does the most extraordinary impressions I have ever seen in my life. And we are very proud to bring him to you now. Please give a warm welcome to a man I think will soon be called "the king of impressionists" - Mr. Michael O'Donoghue. [applause]

[Music plays as Mr. Mike enters, wearing a tuxedo with blue ruffles and black bowtie]

Mr. Mike: Hey! Hey! Thank you, thank you very, very much, ladies and gentlemen. I'd like to, ah... You know, when you're in show business it always seems you end up at some bar at four o'clock in the morning arguing over who's the best singer, who's the best dancer, who's the funniest comedian. But there's one thing I think everybody agrees on, and that's who the nicest guy in show business is. And, of course, I'm talking about Mr. Mike Douglas. [Mr. Mike encourages applause] Yeah! Yeah, come on! You know, I was home the other day and I happened to catch Mike's show, and a funny thought occured to me. I wondered: what if someone took, ah-ah-ah very large steel needles, say fifteen, eighteen inches long, large steel needles with, um, real sharp points, and plunged them into Mike's eyes. What, what would his reaction be, huh? [grins] I think it might go something like this.

[Mr. Mike turns his back to the camera to prepare his impression. He turns back around and puts his hands to his eyes, screaming maniacally. He stumbles, twitches and rolls around the stage as he screams, falling off the front.]

Buck Henry: [comes back out and applauds with audience] Absolutely uncanny, isn't it?

Submitted by: John Ravetti

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