Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 1: Episode 14








75n: Desi Arnaz / Desi Arnaz, Jr.

Very White

Very White.....Chevy Chase

Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen -- Mr. Very White.

Very White: [ reciting as he belts the piano ]
"Oh, baby!
[ breathes deeply ] Ooooh, baby, baby, baby, baby.
You know you've put me through sssssssso many changes
Oh no, baby, don't cry, little girl!
Because you know I know you know I know you know I know
That I dig you and you dig me.
And, baby
I remember -- I remember the first time I saw you.
You were down on a beach entertaining the Van Der Camps.
And I was at the tennis camp, looking for a fourth for mixed doubles.
And, baby, I -- I feel like I've got to sing to you now!"

[ the music intensifies ]

"Ohhhh, baby!
Mmmmmmmm!"

[ his voice and the music softens ]

"But, baby
Baby
I'm gonna sing about the love and the music
Incessant, rambling music with no beginning and no end, baby
Like our love.
And you WILL know, baby
Because it's music with no, no soul
And with absolutely no redeeming artistic value, my love.
Oooohhhhh, baby, baby, baby, baby!
Because deep down -- deep, deep, deep down
In my very heart
My very simple, simple mind
I feel so -- so strange, baby So strange, talking to you this way in front of all these people But, baby, I FEEL like I've got to -- I feel like I've got to sing to you now. And I -- I feel like you've got to hear me, in my heart!"

[ the music intensifies ]

"Ohhhh, baby!
Listen to me!"

[ he sneezes loudly, as his voice and the music softens ]

"Excuse me, baby, for loving you so much.
Because, baby
You looked soooo fine in that dress
when I saw you coming out of the Waldorf Astoria
at that International Debutante Ball
And I was -- I was just talking like this, incessantly.
And you looked up at me
And you said, "Hmmmmmmm!"
[ he moans indistinctly ]
It was very unusual to me, to hear something like that.
So I figured -- I figured
Baby, we must be meant for each other
Meant to -- meant to sing together
Meant for me to talk to you, forever and ever
And for you to listen to me.
So I figured, why not sing to you now
Why not sing with all my heart, and all my breath
And sing so you can HEAR me, baby
Now, I want you to!"

[ the music intensifies ]

"Ohhhhhhhh!
Mmmmmm, baby!
Ooh!
Well, listen to me, baby!
Ahhhh!
Ohhhh!"

[ his voice and the music softens ]

"But, baby.
You know I love myself so much
I love my voice..."

[ SUPER: "Coming Up Next... Suburban Renewal" ]

[ fade ]


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