75o: Jill Clayburgh / Leon Redbone
Great Moments in Herstory I
Announcer ... Don Pardo
Narrator ... Jane Curtin
Sigmund Freud ... Dan Aykroyd
Anna Freud ... Laraine Newman
[A graphic reads: Great Moments in Herstory]
Announcer: And now, Great Moments in Herstory, a
celebration of women through the ages.
[Dissolve to a finely appointed sitting room, complete
with globe, couch and easy chair. A narrator reads a
superimposed text as it scrolls by.]
Narrator: Vienna, April 12th, 1908. In the quaint old
house at number nineteen Berggassestrasse, Doctor
Sigmund Freud has been making bold advances in the
treatment of mental illness through a new technique
involving the interpretation of dreams. His pioneering
efforts in the face of repressive Victorian attitudes
will ultimately lead to the development of the
Fifty-minute hour, over-use of the word "relating",
and a rash of bestsellers with personal pronouns in
their titles. Now, for the first time, he is about to
practice his new method on a member of his own family:
his daughter Anna, later to become a brilliant analyst
in her own right. Little does he know he is on the
threshold of revealing the secrets of the human mind
by Fathering modern psychoanalysis...
[During the above, bearded, bespectacled Sigmund Freud
enters, places a cup of tea on a table beside the easy
chair, pulls a book from a bookcase and, while
thumbing through it, makes his way to the easy chair.
He sits and reads. His young daughter, Anna, enters,
taps him on the shoulder and climbs into his lap. They
speak with heavy Viennese accents:]
Sigmund Freud: Hello, Anna. How did you sleep, Liebchen?
Anna Freud: Oh, I slept very well, Papa. You know, I
had the strangest dream, though. I dreamt about a man
who looked just like you.
Sigmund Freud: [sipping tea] Mm hm.
Anna Freud: He had a beard just like yours. And he was
old enough to be my father.
Sigmund Freud: Ya.
Anna Freud: I couldn't figure it out. And then, he was
sitting on your bed, Papa.
Sigmund Freud: Uh huh.
Anna Freud: Along with all my male cousins. And they
were all bound and gagged except for one arm. And
everybody was bare naked.
Sigmund Freud: [gets increasingly "turned on" as she
proceeds] Mm hm.
Anna Freud: And they had bowls of fruit in their laps,
Sigmund Freud: Mm hm.
Anna Freud: And everybody kept offering me a banana. I
was not hungry for a banana, though, you know? Except
when the man with the beard offered me the biggest and
ripest banana. [Sigmund shifts uncomfortably and sets
down his tea cup] Oooh, Papa, that was the only banana
I ate. Oooh, and then the bed turned into a train,
Sigmund Freud: Ya?
Anna Freud: And it went through a tunnel. And we came
out of the tunnel [Sigmund holds up his trembling hand
as if he is about to grab Anna's torso] and then I
fell and I fell and I fell and the man with the beard
fell and fell and fell. [abruptly] And then we both
smoked a cigarette. [Sigmund lowers his hand and cools
off considerably] Papa, what did that dream mean?
Sigmund Freud: It doesn't mean anything, Anna. It's
only a dream. Sometimes a banana is just a banana. Anna?
Anna Freud: Yes, Papa?
Sigmund Freud: Please don't mention this to Mama.
Anna Freud: [toys with his necktie] Oh, I won't. [They
give each other a hug.]
Announcer: This has been another [dissolve back to the
title graphic] Great Moment in Herstory!