Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 1: Episode 15

75o: Jill Clayburgh / Leon Redbone

Jill Clayburgh's Monologue

... Don Pardo
... Jill Clayburgh

Don Pardo: Ladies and gentlemen, Jill Clayburgh!

Jill Clayburgh: Hi. Thank you! Thank you! Well, I'm really happy to be tonight's host. You know, I didn't know how to prepare for it. I mean, it's live television and most of the people connected with the show are, uh, well, they're my age and they don't know much more than I do about it. So I did, uh, well, it seemed to be the most sensible thing. I went right to the one person who's connected with the show who has, well, he has more experience in live television than anybody. He's a wonderful gentlemen and his name is Don Pardo. [Applause.] And, uh ... uh, you know, he was the announcer on "Jeopardy!" and lots of other programs like that and I - I asked him to help me and oh, well, he couldn't do enough. And the thing about him is that he's not what you'd expect a game show announcer to be. I mean, he has a really cultured background and, well, I had quite an evening with him. First, Don picked me up in his car.

Don Pardo: Not just any car, Jill! [dissolve to image of an antique luxury car] That was a 1936 model [?] Coupe de Ville! Just one of the many antique automobiles from the Don Pardo Classic Car Collection, silver-trimmed for comfort, taste and a smooth and easy ride. Chicago six-oh-six-oh-eight! Jill? [cut back to Jill]

Jill Clayburgh: Yeah. Well, after he picked me up, uh, we took a drive to Don's home. Oh, what a nice house.

Don Pardo: Jill, that's the magnificent Pardo Manor in upstate New York, [dissolve to image of a huge mansion] thirty-six rooms of custom-designed French Normandie elegance, one of the many of the Don Pardo assortment of fine homes. Chicago six-oh-six-oh-eight! Jill? [cut back to Jill]

Jill Clayburgh: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Nice house. Well, we went inside and, oh, I saw all these wonderful works of art. And I remember there was this one beautiful print in particular--

Don Pardo: A print, Jill? Look again! [dissolve to image of a painting] That's an original Cezanne, his "Still Life with Plaster," just one in the collection of the Don Pardo French Masters Series. Chicago six-oh-six-oh-eight! Jill? [cut back to Jill]

Jill Clayburgh: Well, after we dined, we discussed the show and I met one of his sons.

Don Pardo: Not just any son, Jill, but young Don Pardo the Third! [dissolve to a photo of a young boy in riding clothes, holding a pony by the reins] Seven years of exciting life has been all his, educated at fine New York private schools and he'll go on to such schools as Andover, Harvard and Yale graduate school! Don is one of a set of five matching children from the Don Pardo Collection of Fine Youngsters! Chicago six-oh-six-oh-eight! Jill? [cut back to Jill]

Jill Clayburgh: Yeah. You see what I mean? I mean, how much you can learn from a real pro? You know, that's really gonna help me. Thanks, Don!

Don Pardo: You're welcome, Jill!

Jill Clayburgh: Well, we'll be right back.

Submitted Anonymously

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