Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 1: Episode 16

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Air Date:


Musical Guest:

Special Guests:


Bit Players:

March 13th, 1976

Anthony Perkins

Betty Carter

The Muppets


Alan Zweibel

Tom Davis

Neil Levy

Rosie Shuster

Al Franken

Tom Schiller

Season 1: Order Now!

A Word From Chevy
Summary: Chevy Chase rambles on as he denies charges that SNL pads material to fill for time.



Anthony Perkins' Monologue
Summary: While trying to prove to the audience that he's not creepy in real life, Anthony Perkins ends up eating a fly.

A President's View on Marijuana I
Recurring Characters: President Gerald Ford.

Hello, Dolly Therapy

Dominatrix Cleaning
Summary: A dominatrix (Jane Curtin) tries to reform sloppy housewife (Gilda Radner).

Norman Bates School of Hotel Management
Summary: Norman Bates (Anthony Perkins) argues with his unseen mother while quizzing viewers on how to become a hotel manager.


The Muppets
Summary: Scred and Ploobis ask Anthony Perkins to help get them back on "Saturday Night Live."

Betty Carter performs "Music, Maestro, Please" & "Swing Brother Swing"

A President's View on Marijuana II
Recurring Characters: President Gerald Ford.

Weekend Update with Chevy Chase
Summary: John Belushi ponders comparisons between lion and lamb during his weather rant. Emily Litella (Gilda Radner) speaks out against preserving natural "race horses."

Recurring Characters: Emily Litella.

Land Scarcity

Affair With Co-Worker

A President's View on Marijuana III
Recurring Characters: President Gerald Ford.

Gary Weis Film

Sherry's Bee
Summary: Sherry (Laraine Newman) tells her teacher (Anthony Perkins) that she thinks she deserves better than a Bee (John Belushi) for her grade.

Recurring Characters: Sherry, Bee.

Post-Psycho Low-Budget Horror Movie Trailers

"P-Nut Fever"
Summary: A film by Phil Van De Carr.

Betty Carter performs "I Can't Help It"

Butt County Dance Party
Summary: Sheriff Rick Phillips (Anthony Perkins) moderates a dance party for county teenagers and runs their names through the central computer to check for warrants.


SNL Transcripts