Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 1: Episode 16


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Air Date:

Host:

Musical Guest:

Special Guests:

Cameos:

Bit Players:


March 13th, 1976

Anthony Perkins

Betty Carter

The Muppets

None

Alan Zweibel

Tom Davis

Neil Levy

Rosie Shuster

Al Franken

Tom Schiller



Season 1: Order Now!

A Word From Chevy
Summary: Chevy Chase rambles on as he denies charges that SNL pads material to fill for time.

Transcript


Montage


Anthony Perkins' Monologue
Summary: While trying to prove to the audience that he's not creepy in real life, Anthony Perkins ends up eating a fly.


A President's View on Marijuana I
Recurring Characters: President Gerald Ford.


Hello, Dolly Therapy


Dominatrix Cleaning
Summary: A dominatrix (Jane Curtin) tries to reform sloppy housewife (Gilda Radner).


Norman Bates School of Hotel Management
Summary: Norman Bates (Anthony Perkins) argues with his unseen mother while quizzing viewers on how to become a hotel manager.

Transcript


The Muppets
Summary: Scred and Ploobis ask Anthony Perkins to help get them back on "Saturday Night Live."


Betty Carter performs "Music, Maestro, Please" & "Swing Brother Swing"


A President's View on Marijuana II
Recurring Characters: President Gerald Ford.


Weekend Update with Chevy Chase
Summary: John Belushi ponders comparisons between lion and lamb during his weather rant. Emily Litella (Gilda Radner) speaks out against preserving natural "race horses."

Recurring Characters: Emily Litella.


Land Scarcity


Affair With Co-Worker


A President's View on Marijuana III
Recurring Characters: President Gerald Ford.


Gary Weis Film


Sherry's Bee
Summary: Sherry (Laraine Newman) tells her teacher (Anthony Perkins) that she thinks she deserves better than a Bee (John Belushi) for her grade.

Recurring Characters: Sherry, Bee.


Post-Psycho Low-Budget Horror Movie Trailers


"P-Nut Fever"
Summary: A film by Phil Van De Carr.


Betty Carter performs "I Can't Help It"


Butt County Dance Party
Summary: Sheriff Rick Phillips (Anthony Perkins) moderates a dance party for county teenagers and runs their names through the central computer to check for warrants.


Goodnights
Transcript



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