Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 1: Episode 18






75r: Raquel Welch / John Sebastian

Beatles Offer

Written by: Lorne Michaels

.....Lorne Michaels

Lorne Michaels: Hi, I'm Lorne Michaels, the producer of "Saturday Night". Right now, we're being seen by approximately 22 million viewers, but please allow me, if I may, to address myself to just four very special people - John, Paul, George, and Ringo - the Beatles: Lately there have been a lot of rumors to the effect that the four of you might be getting back together. That would be great. In my book, the Beatles are the best thing that ever happened to music. It goes even deeper than that - you're not just a musical group, you're a part of us. We grew up with you.

It's for this reason that I am inviting you to come on our show. Now, we've heard and read a lot about personality and legal conflicts that might prevent you guys from reuniting. That's something which is none of my business. That's a personal problem. You guys will have to handle that. But it's also been said that no one has yet to come up with enough money to satisy you. Well, if it's money you want, there's no problem here.

The National Broadcasting Company has authorized me to offer you this check to be on our show.. [ holds up check ] ..a certified check for $3,000. Here it is right here. A check made out to you, the Beatles, for $3,000. All you have to do is sing three Beatles songs. "She loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah." That's $1,000 right there. You know the words - it'll be easy.

Like I said, this is made out to the Beatles - you divide it up any way you want. If you want to give less to Ringo, that's up to you - I'd rather not get involved. I'm sincere about this. If this helps you to reach a decision to reunite, it's well worth the investment. You have agents - you know where I can be reached. Just think about it, okay? [ shows the check again ] Thank you.


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