Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 1: Episode 20


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Air Date:

Host:

Musical Guest:

Special Guests:

Cameos:

Bit Players:

May 15th, 1976

Dyan Cannon

Leon & Mary Russell

None

None

Paul Shaffer

Neil Levy

Alan Zweibel



Season 1: Order Now!

Chevy's Fall, Take Two
Summary: Chevy Chase has performed the weekly opening fall, but learns that the show wasn't yet on the air and that he'll have to do it all over again.

Transcript


Montage


Dyan Cannon's Monologue
Summary: Dyan Cannon shyly introduces herself to the audience, then tels them about an unfilled dream to be whisked away by a man on a white horse. Pianist Paul Shaffer picks Dyan up and carries her off the stage, but this isn't what she had in mind.

Bio: Dyan Cannon (1937-) was Oscar-nominated for her performance in the 1969 film, "Bob & Carol & Ted & Alice." Mother of actress Jennifer Grant, a result of Cannon's short-lived marriage to film legend Cary Grant.

Transcript


Zing
Summary: Ms. Elaine Szigeti (Laraine Newman) participates in a diet soda taste test, and chooses sugar-free Zing over a glass of phlegm.


Hearing Test
Summary: Participants (Garrett Morris, Gilda Radner, Jane Curtin) in a hearing test fail to realize that thugs (John Belushi, Dan Aykroyd) have entered the room and taken the teacher (Dyan Cannon) hostage during a wild police shootout.


The Affair
Summary: When a husband (Dan Aykroyd) comes home early and discovers a strange man (Chevy Chase) lying on top of his wife (Dyan Cannon) on the couch, he demands an explanation. They feed him a series of lies ranging from a broken lamp and the swine flu, and he falls for it.

Transcript


Vacationland Adventure
Summary: Head of Bulgarian Tourist Bureau (John Belushi) shows Jane Curtin the film "Bulgaria Dis Vintor" to promote American tourism in Bulgaria.


Dyan's Dream I
Summary: A hoarse-sounding Dan Aykroyd has interpreted Dyan Cannon's monologue dream to involve a man with a sore throat.

Transcript


Leon & Mary Russell perform "Satisfy You"
Bio: Leon Russell (1942-) collaborated with practically every big name in the music business before opening his own recording studio in 1967. He married singer Mary McCreary in 1975, and they recorded an album together the following year.

Lyrics


Next Week
Summary: Laraine Newman thinks next week's host, Buck Henry, is disgusting.

Transcript


Weekend Update with Chevy Chase
Summary: Correspondent Laraine Newman interviews a Nevada gas station attendant (Garrett Morris) who claims to have an alternate copy of Howard Hughes' will. Chevy Chase's weather report is documented through a crude series of artist's renderings. Garrett Morris again repeats the top story for the hard-of-hearing.

Transcript


Florida Orange Juice
Summary: Anita Bryant (Jane Curtin) promotes natural Florida orange juice while being held hostage in war-torn Beirut.

Recurring Characters: Anita Bryant.

Transcript


The Funeral
Summary: While giving the eulogy at a funeral, a priest (Chevy Chase) suffers through a disruptive bout of the hiccups.


Dyan's Dream II
Summary: Acting as a pimp, Garrett Morris has interpreted Dyan Cannon's monologue dream to involve a pair of white prostitutes (Gilda Radner, Laraine Newman).


Gary Weis Film
Summary: Gary Weis' film crosscuts interviews of newlyweds and marital infidelity investigators.


Bathwater Of The Stars
Summary: Pitchman Roy Waddmaker (Dan Aykroyd) promotes the bottled bathwater of giggly Cindy Cleavage (Dyan Cannon) and other celebrities.

Transcript


Marine Corps
Summary: Private Rick Duncan (Chevy Chase) is abused by his sergeant (Dan Aykroyd) when his verbal gaffes demand multiple takes for a Marine Corps commercial.


Leon & Mary Russell perform "Daylight"
Recurring Characters: Joe Cocker.

Lyrics


Johnny Angel
Summary: Teenaged Dyan (Dyan Cannon) is dying to make an impression on "Johnny Angel", whom her parents (John Belushi, Gilda Radner) are horrified to learn are three members of the Hells Angels (Garrett Morris, Dan Aykroyd, Chevy Chase). As Dyan bursts into song, the Hells Angels tear the house apart and tie her parents up with rope.

Transcript


Cresk Toothpaste
Summary: Pharmacist (John Belushi) recommends Cresk toothpaste for housewife's (Gilda Radner) dead son.

Transcript


Dyan's Dream III
Summary: John Belushi rides onto the stage on his friend Horace's (Alan Zweibel) back, having misinterpreted Dyan Cannon's monologue dream.


"The Hub-Cap Thief"
Summary: This week's home movie is a Nugent Rasero Fitzgerald Production, in which a hapless hubcap thief doesn't complete his task in time and is rolled around town by an unsuspecting driver.


Goodnights
Transcript



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