Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 1: Episode 20











75t: Dyan Cannon / Leon & Mary Russell

Johnny Angel

Dad.....John Belushi
Mom.....Gilda Radner
Dyan.....Dyan Cannon
Hell's Angel 1.....Garrett Morris
Hell's Angel 2.....Dan Aykroyd
Hell's Angel 3.....Chevy Chase

[ open on Mom and Dad seated on the couch in their living room ]

Mom: Dyan, honey!

Dyan: I'm coming, Mom!

[ Dyan runs down the stairs ]

Mom: Your father and I are NOT being difficult -- it's just that we like to meet all your dates, that's all.

Dyan: But, Mother, I told you a THOUSAND times: today's not a real date! No, it's just a ride to the football game.

Dad: After you spent two hours fixing yourself up? Come on, do you expect us to believe that?

Dyan: Yeah, but, Dad, we've hardly spoken more than once, and I only got this ride because Judy's brother asked for me. It really isn't even a romance. You know something? To Johnny, I'm practically invisible.

Dad: And, yet, young lady, all we've heard this week is: "JOHNNY, JOHNNY, JOHNNY!"

Mom: "JOHNNY, JOHNNY, JOHNNY!" all week.

[ the doorbell rings, as three rugged members of the Hell's Angels crash through the door ]

Dyan: Mom! Mom, Dad! These are my boyfriends! Johnny Angel!

[ the soundtrack pots up ]

Hell's Angel 1: "Johnny Angellllll..."

Hell's Angel 2: "Johnny Angellllll..."

Hell's Angel 3: "Johnny Angellllll..."

Dyan: "You're an Angel to me!"

[ Dyan continues to sing Johnny Angel, as the three Hell's Angels begin to break various pieces of furniture, dynamite a wall safe, and tie her parents with rope and leave them on the floor ]

Dyan:
"Johnny Angel, how I love him.
He's got something that I can't resist,
But he doesn't even know that I-I-I exist.

Johnny Angel, how I want him.
How I tingle when he passes by.
Every time he says "Hello", my heart begins to fly.

I'm in Heaven, how I get carried away.
I think of him and me, and how it's gonna be.
Other fellas ask me out for a date,
but I just sit and wait, I'd rather concentrate...

On Johnny Angel.
'Cause I love him.
And I pray that someday he'll love me.
And together we will see how lovely Heaven will be.

I'm in Heaven, how I get carried away.
I think of him and me, and how it's gonna be.
Other fellas ask me out for a date,
but I just sit and wait, I'd rather concentrate...

On Johnny Angel.
'Cause I love him.
And I pray that someday he'll love me.
And together we will see how lovely Heaven will be.

Hell's Angel 1: "Johnny Angellllll..."

Hell's Angel 3: "Johnny Angellllll..."

Hell's Angel 2: "Johnny Angellllll..."

Dyan: "You're an Angel to me!"

[ the three Hell's Angels lift Dyan over their shoulders and carry her up the stairs to her bedroom ]

[ SUPER: "Coming Up Next... Pre-Natal Root Canal Therapy" ]

[ fade ]


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