Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 1: Episode 21


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Season 1: Order Now!




Air Date:

Host:

Musical Guest:

Special Guests:

Cameos:






Bit Players:

May 22nd, 1976

Buck Henry

Gordon Lightfoot

None

George Coe

Joe Dicso

Lorne Michaels

Howard Shore

Anne Beatts

Tom Davis

Al Franken

Neil Levy

Michael O'Donoghue

Tom Schiller

Rosie Shuster

Paul Shaffer

Alan Zweibel

Cheryl Hardwick

Chevy On Crutches
Summary: Wearing a cast on his leg, Chevy Chase smugly explains to the audience how he broke his leg while accepting his Emmy award the previous weekend. Laraine Newman has graciously agreed to do the fall in his place, and promptly pushes Chevy over a card table and onto the floor.

Transcript


Montage
Note: An impression by Michael O'Donoghue is announced.


Buck Henry's Monologue
Summary: Home Base is absent, as cast and crew ponder the mysterious disappearance of Buck Henry. John Belushi fills in as a frantic Lorne Michaels rushes to the lobby in search of his host. It turns out the 30 Rockefeller security guard (George Coe) in the lobby doesn't recognize Buck Henry as a star, and refuses to let him enter the building.

Note: The "Saturday Night" crew had frequent run-ins with the security guards in 30 Rockefeller's lobby. Michael O'Donoghue once threw a punch at a guard, set designer Eugene Lee pushed a guard on a separate occasion, and Dan Aykroyd dared a group of guards to remove him from an elevator. Buck Henry and Paul Simon were among hosts that went unrecognized by the guards.

Transcript


Peter Lemon Moodring
Summary: Billed as the "ultimate love-rock experience", Peter Lemon Moodring (Chevy Chase) changes colors according to the songs he sings.

Transcript


Samurai Tailor
Summary: Futaba (John Belushi) performs the second fitting of Mr. Dantley's (Buck Henry) tuxedo.

Recurring Characters: Futaba, Mr. Dantley.

Transcript


Talk Back
Summary: Frank Noland (Buck Henry) has multiple phone lines to talk with the public, but, no matter how high he raises the stakes in controversial topics, no one calls him.

Transcript


Dell Stator's Toad Ranch Restaurant
Summary: Kenny Slungard (Dan Aykroyd), Chief Rustler for Dell Stator's 99 cent Toad Ranches touts the great American family dining value.

Transcript


Gordon Lightfoot performs "Summertime Dream"
Bio: Though he composed songs for other folk singers and even put out albums of his own during the 1960's, Canadian folk singer Gordon Lightfoot (1938-) didn't gain recognition until the first half of the 1970's while folk-based music still held its own over the airwaves.

Lyrics


Weekend Update with Chevy Chase
Summary: Footage of fruit doubles as exclusive film from the Patty Hearst trial.


Germasol Air Freshener
Summary: the oversized air freshener is perfect for covering old dinner smells in a woman's (Gilda Radner) apartment.

Note: Repeat from 01/17/76.


Crowd Audition
Summary: Director (Buck Henry) and casting agent (Chevy Chase) audition a group of actors for a crowd scene in a new movie.

Transcript


Beatles Offer II
Summary: Lorne Michaels adds $200 to his Beatles offer to sweeten the pot in his attempt to get the Fab four on SNL.

Transcript


Not For Ladies Only
Summary: Barbara Walters (Gilda Radner) interviews film director Lina Wertmuller (Laraine Newman).

Recurring Characters: Barbara Walters.


Gary Weis Film
Summary: On the town, Buck Henry talks to peopleshopping for toilet seats.


Looks At Books
Summary: Jane Curtin interviews shy, world-renowned sexologist Henry T. Rudin (Buck Henry), author of "The Ultimate Expression."

Transcript


Gordon Lightfoot performs "Spanish Moss"
Note: Futaba (John Belushi) plucks Gordon Lightfoot's guitar strings at the end of the song.

Recurring Characters: Futaba.

Lyrics


Garrett Morris sings Schubert's "An Die Musik"
Summary: At his request, Garrett Morris is allowed to sing a classical song, as joke text scrolls past to explain.


Michael O'Donaghue's Tony Orlando Impression
Summary: Michael O'Donoghue does an impression of Tony Orlando & Dawn with needles in their eyes.

Transcript


Goodnights
Transcript



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