Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 1: Episode 22


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Air Date:

Host:

Musical Guest:





Special Guests:

Cameos:

Bit Players:

May 29th, 1976

Elliot Gould

Leon Redbone

Harlan Collins

Joyce Everson

None

None

Neil Levy

Paul Shaffer

Doris Powell

Akira Yoshimura



Season 1: Order Now!

Wax Museum
Summary: A pervert (Chevy Chase) gets his kicks touching and flashing the statues (Laraine Newman, Neil Levy, Jane Curtin, Gilda Radner) at a wax museum.


Montage


Elliot Gould's Monologue
Summary: To set the mood for tonight's show, Elliott Gould sings the old standard "Anything Goes".

First Hosted: 75i.

Transcript


Academy of Better Careers
Summary: Now you can be a stand-by operator, too.

Note: Repeat from 10/11/75.


Poker Game
Summary: Because of his extreme southern hospitality and gullible graciousness, Mr. Russo (Dan Aykroyd) is honored to be taken advantage of by Mr. Diarga (Chevy Chase) and his interpretor (Elliott Gould) during a friendly high-stakes poker game.

Transcript


Babs' Uvula
Summary: Babs' (Gilda Radner) doctor (Chevy Chase) tells her that she's let her uvula go to the dogs.

Transcript


Leon Redbone performs "Shine On Harvest Moon"


The Last Voyage of the Starship Enterprise
Summary: The crew of the Starship Enterprise are wary of a mysterious car following them through space. Unable to escape the strange pursuit, the car's occupants, NBC executive Herb Goodman (Elliot Gould) and his associates, soon enter the Starship Enterprise, whereupon they announce that the "Star Trek" series has been cancelled. The crew accepts this proclamation, but William Shatner (John Belushi) hangs on to his persona as Captain Kirk, determined to get his crew out of this unexpected twist, even as NBC executives dismantle the set around him.

Recurring Characters: Captain James T. Kirk, Scotty, Mr. Sulu, Dr. McCoy, Herb Goodman.

Transcript


Weekend Update with Chevy Chase
Summary: Chevy makes faces during Audrey Peart-Dickman's (Jane Curtin) patriotic Bicentennial commentary. Emily Litella (Gilda Radner) helps Chevy Chase repeat the evening's "flop" news story.

Note: Audrey Peart-Dickman is also the name of the show's Associate Producer.

Recurring Characters: Emily Litella.

Transcript


Vibramatic Personal Massager
Summary: The personal massager that slices and dices vegetables for a husband's (Elliott Gould) midnight salad, while working as a comforting sleep aid and relaxer for his wife (Laraine Newman).


Shirley Temple Black
Summary: As the new anbassador to Ghana, Shirley Temple Black (Laraine Newman) breaks into a melody of "Hi Neighbor.


Gary Weis Film
Summary: In a film by Gary Weis, Elliott Gould sits in as kids learn old vaudeville acts at "Uncle Charlie's School."


The Honeymooners
Summary: The Bees portray "The Honeymooners", with Ralph (John Belushi) and Alice (Gilda Radner) getting into a fight before she reveals her pregnancy.

Recurring Characters: Bees.

Transcript


Leon Redbone performs "Walking Stick"


Show Us Your Guns
Summary: In a parody of the Lark cigarette commercials, SNL's film truck passes through the city streets asking to see citizens' firearms.

Note: Repeat from 10/11/75.


Harlan Collins & Joyce Everson perform "Heaven Only Knows"


Goodnights
Transcript



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