Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 1: Episode 24

75x: Kris Kristofferson / Rita Coolidge

The Great White Athlete

Jesse Owens.....Garrett Morris
Announcer.....Don Pardo

[Gray-haired Jesse Owens, the legendary African-American track athlete who dominated the 1936 Olympics, sits in a chair, wearing a suit and tie and addresses the camera]

Jesse Owens: Hello, I'm Jesse Owens, here to make you an offer of lasting value. For a limited time only, the American Olympic Committee together with the government of Canada are offering these beautiful Olympic medallions, [holds up the medallions] commemorating some of the last of a dying breed: the Great White Athlete. For only forty-five dollars, you can own the entire set with white heroes of hockey, swimming and spear-chucking-- umm... I mean, javelin throw. Hurry and send in now while they last, honky.

[A superimposition reads: Great White Athletes Box 1976 Johannesburg, S. Africa]

Announcer: That's "Great White Athlete" -- Box 1976 Johannesburg, South Africa.

Submitted Anonymously

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