Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 2: Episode 3







76c: Eric Idle / Joe Cocker, Stuff

Drag Racing Today

.....Dan Aykroyd
.....Eric Idle

[ open on stock footage of crowds swarming the stands at a race track ]

[ SUPER: "Drag Racing Today" ]

[ Dan Aykroyd and Eric Idle, dressed in drag, approach the starting line and take their stances ]

[ the starting pistol fires ]

[ Dan and Eric run down the track in their high heels, until, at race's end, Dan is first to cross the finish line ]

[ a reporter holds a microphone to Dan's face ]

Dan Aykroyd: I, uh -- feel it's still not working.

Eric Idle: Of course it's working! They're laughing!

Dan Aykroyd: How do you know they're laughing? We're on film.

Eric Idle: [ stunned by this information ] Oh, that's right. Well, let's listen.

[ they press their ears closer to the screen ]

Eric Idle: I don't hear them laughing.

Dan Aykroyd: No.

Eric Idle: [ dejected ] Shall we go?

Dan Aykroyd: I guess so.

[ they turn from the camera and walk away, dropping their feather boas to the ground in shame ]

[ dissolve to audience shot, zoom in on a man with SUPER: "Doomed" ]

[ fade ]


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