Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 2: Episode 5

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Air Date:


Musical Guest:

Special Guests:


Bit Players:

October 23rd, 1976

Steve Martin

Kinky Friedman



Al Franken

Michael O'Donoghue

Marilyn Suzanne Miller

Alan Zweibel

World Series Loss
Summary: After the New York Yankees lose the World Series, the coach (Dan Aykroyd) apologizes for the loss. Showing no hard feelings, one ballplayer (Chevy Chase) kicks the coach's stool out and hangs him.



Steve Martin's Monologue
Summary: Steve Martin goofs around for a bit, demonstrates his banjo-playing skills, then gets mad at the control room.

Bio: Steve Martin (1945-). Actor/writer; Emmy-winning writer for "The Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour" in the 1960's; performed absurd stand-up comedy throughout the 1970's; has hosted "Saturday Night Live" a record total of 14 times; films include: "The Jerk", "Three Amigos".


Speak Out For Milk
Summary: Chevy Chase requires multiple takes to send the right message across.


Jeopardy! 1999
Summary: In a parody of the sci-fi series "Space: 1999", game show contestants of the distant future provide an amusing glimpse of recent historical events.


Kinky Friedman performs "Dear Abbie"
Bio: Kinky Friedman (1944-); Singer/writer; former frontman for The Texas Jewboys; author of humor-themed mystery novels, in which he wrote himself as a former country musician/amateur detective and included the likenesses of personal friends as his regular cast of characters; announced his candidacy for governor of Texas in 2005.

Note: This song refers to 60's activist Abbie Hoffman, who later figures heavily in the flashback mystery "Blast From the Past."


Weekend Update with Chevy Chase
Summary: Real footage from the Ruben Carter trial makes up supposed renderings from a Weekend Update staff artist who snuck in. After praising her recent substitute anchoring duties, Chevy Chase makes faces during Jane Curtin's commentary on the dangers of fluorocarbon. A wandering snacker (Al Franken) reads over Chevy's shoulder as he delivers a news story.


Summary: Pitchman (Steve Martin) advertises the product that's a dog and a watch all in one!


Plato's Cave
Summary: A blind guitar-playing Negro (Garrett Morris) and a poet (Steve Martin) is among the anti-Establishment performers at a beatnik bar during the 1950's.

Note: Don Pardo has considerable trouble matching names with the correct text as their fates are described at the end.


Looks At Books
Summary: Jane Curtin interviews "Sex & Sports" author, Dr. Lloyd Kaufman (Steve Martin), who shares his research findings and filmed footage on the link between abstinence and sports.


Autumn In New York
Summary: In a film by Gary Weis, he and other New Yorkers lip-synch covers of "Autumn In New York" while wandering the city.


The Mary Tyler Moore Show
Summary: Ted Baxter's (Steve Martin) Drano-in-coffee prank on Mary Richards (Laraine Newman) ends in an unexpected catatrosphe.


Mysteries In Medicine
Summary: A profile of the new Blog Diet plan, in which a faux Eskimo (John Belushi) steals food from dieters (Jane Curtin, Laraine Newman) secluded in the wilderness.


Steve Martin Stand-Up
Summary: Steve Martin's topics range from his mother to the destruction of Earth.



SNL Transcripts