Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 2: Episode 5






76e: Steve Martin / Kinky Friedman

World Series Loss

Coach.....Dan Aykroyd
Ballplayer.....Chevy Chase

[ open on dejected ballplayers hanging around the locker room, looking up at Coach, whose face is unseen to the audience since he's standing high atop a stool ]

Coach: Ahhhhh.. what else can I say, boys..? As your manager, I wanted to win the World Series as much as anybody - New York deserved to win! Losing four straight games was rough! Being ejected from the last game made things even worse for me. Look - th-there's nothing shameful about.. your not showing, you know.. your showing in the Series.. I mean, don't blame yourselves. I mean, they blame me.. I-I made the same mistakes, maybe I should have used Catfish in the fourth game. I'm sorry you were embarrassed on national television in front of millions of people! And I'm.. sorry that each one of you lost the, uh.. bonuses and the World Series money, not to mention the untold other monies you could have gotten in commercial endorsements.. [ weeping ] I'm sorry..! I let you down! It won't happen again!

[ members of the team exit the locker room mumbling to themselves about their Coach's ineptitude. One Ballplayer lingers behind ]

Ballplayer: You bet it won't, Coach! [ kicks the Coach's stool out from under him, leaving him to hang in the air ] "Live, from New York, it's Saturday Night!"


SNL Transcripts