Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 2: Episode 7











76g: Dick Cavett / Ry Cooder

Puppy Uppers/Doggie Downers

Joy.....Gilda Radner
Jill.....Laraine Newman

[ Jill is visiting Joy, whose dog is lying like a lox on the living room floor. Joy throws a ball at the dog, but he just stares at it as it rolls by. ]

Joy: Gee, Sparky's been acting dull and listless lately. I just don't know what's wrong with him.

Jill: My dog Skippy used to be like that.. until I found out about.. [ reaches for box and pulls out a puppy upper ] ..Puppy Uppers. Puppy Uppers pep up your pooch, plus, they help control his weight.

[ Joy feeds Puppy Upper to Sparky ]

[ ripple dissolve to Sparky rolling over, doing back flips, leaping about, and acting speedy ]

[ SUPER: "Later That Day" ]

[ close-up of Sparky jumping up on Joy ]

Joy: Maybe it's me, Jill, but I'd say Sparky's perked up a little too much.

Jill: No argument there, Joy. When my Skippy gets too frisky, what I do is give him these.. Doggie Downers.

[ Jill holds up a box of Doggie Downers, then hands it to Joy, who is still being bothered by the frisky Sparky ]

Joy: [ reading label ] Doggie Downers.. mellows out your mutt. Hmm.. I'll try them. [ feeds Sparky a Doggie Downer; he collapses ]

[ SUPER: "Later That Day" ]

[ ripple dissolve to Sparky lying like a lox on the living room floor, box of Doggie Downers in the shot ]

Jill: That's Puppy uppers for when your dog's like this. And.. [cut to replay of shot with Sparky jumping on Joy, box of Puppy Uppers in the shot ] ..Doggie Downers, for when your dog's like this. From Hound-Doze.

[ dissolve to woman in audience, with SUPER: "Deodorant Not Working" ]


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